Letter to My Dad on Father’s Day

Dear Dad,

There is the saying, “with age comes wisdom.” And as I was growing up there were many times when you said to me, “You don’t understand this now, but you will someday.” You were right, someday is here and many of the things you taught me, protected me from and yes, even allowed me to be exposed to have come and gone and been learned from.

Maybe it didn’t seem like at the time, but not only do I remember all those life lessons, but I also remember so many things that you did with and for me as I was growing up. I remember my little hand holding yours while walking. I remember you telling me not to let the bully at school beat me up, ever again. I remember the family vacations, and visiting my grandmother. I remember horseback riding and summer camps and music lessons. I even remember you putting a helmet on my head, and taking me on what was at the time, the most thrilling ride of my life on your motorcycle with mom looking on unhappily. But I know that with my arms wrapped around you that I was safe.

One of my favorite memories was of getting up early in the morning, creeping out of our cabin on the lake and fishing with you and the other grownups. You taught me how to bait the hook and catch a fish. You taught me the patience to sit there for long periods of time. You taught me that even the messy jobs still need to get done, by making me clean and filet the fish. You also taught me that it’s okay to take pride in a job well done, as I seasoned and fried fish, and hushpuppies and tossed the homemade coleslaw and enjoyed every bite along with our friends and family.

I learned that it is ok to be myself. I remember on Sunday mornings looking over at you in the church pew with your coat and tie on, almost unfamilar to me, but looking down and seeing your “good” cowboy boots on and knowing that behind that Sunday outfit, my real dad existed and with that knowledge I was able to express myself in all things, with confidence. After all how many moms do you see at the playgroup park playdate wearing their cowboy hat? And I did that before living in Texas!

I remember you coaching my soccer team. And being there for every game in high school. I remember you being at every choir concert and singing performance. I also remember you getting up every morning, long before I was and leaving for work and coming home late so you could work overtime to pay for all those things I enjoyed. I remember the 20 minute phone rule, which at 15 I thought was stupid, but now with my own teenager realize it is so the rest of the family can either use the phone or just so we don’t have to hear the giggles, squeals and the word, “like” every three seconds. I remember the sacrifices to put me through private school and quite often I remember every eye roll I ever sent your way, when I see it repeated on my own daughter’s face.

But most importantly I remember these things, how much you love me, how much you tried to protect me from bullies, and boogey men, from bad boyfriends and fast cars. I remember the senior photo you took, that was so much better than anything the professional photographer took, maybe because you see things in me that no one else could. I remember that you could fix anything and quite often did-and still do.

So, for all those times that I never said, “Thank You,” or “I love you,” here I am saying it the best way I can. The good times and bad are not forgotten, but learned from, grown from and now being used to raise my own daughters. I pray every day they will meet a man like their Grandpa. One who still holds hands with Grandma and likes to take walks on the beach. A man who encourages us to give to charity instead of buying presents, masking his generous spirit in a Grinch-like attitude. A husband who will help them raise their children in tender loving care and strength. Since their father is in so many ways like their Grandpa, I think they stand a pretty good chance.

Everything you did, and said and taught me still lingers today, to help me through each day raising my own daughters. The lessons learned are not forgotten and for each and every one of them I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you and Happy Father’s Day.