How to Be a Good Neighbor

It has been said that neighbors aren’t what they used to be and that we can live next door to someone now for years and never actually get to know them. Instead of lamenting about what is wrong with everyone else, maybe we should take a look at ourselves and think about what it might take to turn ourselves into that great neighbor we’d like to have!

Of the many neighbors I’ve had in my adult life, my favorites share some of the same characteristics. They’ve been so influential, in fact, that I’ve tried to take on some of their fine neighborly ways for myself. First of all, the best neighbors actually call out a greeting – not a lengthy chat and they don’t make a bee-line for you every time you’re out of doors, they just give the hearty wave and call out a greeting. Just enough to let you know that they see you and acknowledge you. Good neighbors say “good morning” and “Hi, there!”

My favorite neighbors haven’t complained about my kids, cats, lawn mowing, music or any other symptom of family life. I’ve been quite aware that we haven’t always been the most serene family to live next door to and I’ve appreciated those neighbors who get that and don’t complain every time they catch me in the driveway. At the same time, the best neighbors know just enough of what’s going on at your house to be helpful – it is great if you feel comfortable to tell them when you’re away for the weekend or they can tell you if your teenagers threw a party!

Great neighbors share. They don’t have to share big things, but they do share starts from their overgrowing flowers, an extra beer when you’re both out working in the yard, they might mow the strip of grass between your house and theirs or offer to share some of the compost they had dumped in their back lawn. It’s almost impossible not to create a reciprocal relationship with a sharing neighbor and soon you’re sharing your extra strawberries or a bottle of wine or some cookies from a fresh-baked batch.

Good neighbors generally know other neighbors. If you’re new in a neighborhood and are lucky enough to meet a fantastic next door neighbor, there’s a darn good chance that they know and can introduce you to some of the other neighbors. I’ve found that as I incorporated some of these “good neighbor” social skills, I’ve met more and more of my neighbors and have been able to truly feel that sense of living in a neighborhood.

As you’ve probably realized, being a great neighbor doesn’t depend on age or wealth or status. As a matter of fact, if you’re lucky enough to live in a diverse neighborhood, you may find that a good mix of various ages, genders and other conditions make for the best neighbors and the most vibrant neighborhoods. The important thing is to think of what sort of neighbors you’d like to have and then try to be just that sort – like attracts like and soon you’ll notice you’re living in one of those mythological friendly neighborhoods!