Gross Jelly Beans: Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans Review

Personally, I have long enjoyed Jelly Belly gourmet jelly beans. What sets this candy company apart from the rest is their wide selection of flavors. While other companies are producing the “ho-hum” anise, cherry, lemon and lime-flavored jelly beans, Jelly Belly is delighting their customers with mouth-watering tastes like blueberry, watermelon, root beer and popcorn, just to name a few of their many flavors.

Staying in the running as the world’s “number one gourmet jelly bean” has to be tough. I think Jelly Belly has outdone themselves, and will probably manage to further hold their top spot with one of their latest products. No other candy maker can top these! Find out all about it when you read this Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans review.

I didn’t buy the beans I tried myself. Instead, I was offered some at a recent cook out. The generous, yet fun-loving teen-aged donator opened the blue, rectangular box and held it out in front of me, being very careful not to let me see the box top which clearly reads, “Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans.” Seeing that would have tipped me off right there. There were ten sections in the box, each one holding several normal-looking Jelly Belly jelly beans... or so I thought. Until I got a look at the one side. That’s where the flavor of each section is named. The names were- you haven’t eaten lately, have you?- Booger, Earwax, Dirt, Rotten Egg, Bacon, Grass, Black Pepper, Vomit, Earthworms and Soap.

To keep my stomach down, I tried to keep in mind that the flavors of these jelly beans aren’t real. The idea for these one-of-a-kind flavors came from the Harry Potter line of books written by J.K. Rowling. Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans are a favorite of the book’s hero. But still, I chickened out and tried a Bacon flavored jelly bean. The first thing that struck me was that the taste was very strong. It didn’t taste bad, but it has a liquid smoke flavor to it that shocks your taste buds. Not much like any bacon I have ever tasted.

My curiosity was still piqued, so, with the further goading of the owner of the box of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans, I tried the Grass flavor. I don’t eat grass, but the idea of eating a piece of grass- washed first, of course- didn’t stimulate my gag reflex. These beans are said to be “guaranteed to have your lips curled and your eyes watering.” The Bacon flavor about did it, but the Grass-flavored bean was mild. It was an unusual flavor that reminded me slightly of green apples. It wasn’t bad. And yes, the Black Pepper-flavor jelly beans tasted like its name implied. It made you gasp for a drink of water!

The Jelly Belly company has several different flavors of these beans. Some of the flavors, such as Apple, Baked Beans, Banana, Brown Sugar, Butter, Cheese, Chewing Gum, Chocolate Mousse, Cinnamon, Ice Cream, Lemon, Marshmallow, Peanuts, Raisin, Rum, Shrimp, Strawberry Jelly, Vanilla and Walnuts sound inviting. However, the unusual flavors like Caterpillar, Centipede, Compost, Copper, Diesel, Frog Legs, Glue, Ink, Iron, Latex, Leather, Menthol, Mud, Paint, Petrol, Shampoo, Toe Nails and Varnish made me cringe.

As for the price of this ten-section box of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans, I was told they were around six dollars. If you’re looking for a conversation starter for a party, then, by all means, get yourself some of these beans. Or, if your kids like Harry Potter and you think they’d get a kick out of having a box of these to show their friends and shock other adults with, then you’ll want to buy some.

But if you’re hungry for the taste of a good old Jelly Belly gourmet jelly bean, then pass the Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans up and stick with the flavors you know and love. These beans are moreless a novelty item that are good for effect, not for eating and enjoying.

And finally, here’s an important word of caution for those who are allergic to peanuts: All Jelly Belly jelly beans, including the Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans, are produced in a factory that processes peanuts.