Funny and Inspirational Sayings Found on Facebook

I probably spend way too much time browsing Facebook. However, every once in a while, I do come across a funny or inspirational saying that someone posted as their status or shared that makes me smile. I thought I’d take a minute and jot some of these down for your reading pleasure. As I come across new ones in the future, I’ll keep updating this list:

“Don’t let someone dim your light, simply because it’s shining in their eyes.”

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” (Theodore Roosevelt)

Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tries, and a touch that never hurts.” (Charles Dickens)

“Silence is golden unless you have a toddler — then, silence is just suspicious.”

“Happiness is a warm puppy.” (Charles M. Schulz)

“When my arms can’t reach people who are close to my heart, I always hug them with my prayers.”

“All these moms are on Pintest making their own soap and reindeer-shaped treats, and I’m all like ‘I took a shower and kept the kids alive.'”

“Remember as far as anyone knows… We are a nice normal family.”

“Beware of the dog. The cat is not trustworthy either.”

“A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.”

“What gift has God sent your way recently that you dismissed as coincidence?” (from the book “Heaven Changes Everything”)

“If God doesn’t seem to be with you in your hard time, ask yourself this question: WHO MOVED?” (from the book “Heaven Changes Everything”)

“Don’t judge a hero by the size of his cape.”

“The greatest gift is a passion for reading. It is cheap, it consoles, it distracts, it excites, it gives you the knowledge of the world, and experience of the wide kind. It is moral illumination.” (Elizabeth Hardwick)

“Bookworms aren’t people who love to read. They are people that treat books as treasures.”

“I will not leave this bookstore empty handed!”

“You know you’re a book lover when… you have a mental fight with yourself when you have to pick which book from your stack of books to read next.”

“Wadda ya mean, all we gotz iz decaf???”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” (Groucho Marx)

“If you think reading is boring, you’re doing it wrong.”

“I’m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.”

“The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it.”

“I’m a writer. Anything you say or do may be used in a story.”

“I’m not quiet. I’m PLOTTING.”

“I know the voices aren’t real, but man do they ever come up with some great ideas.”

“Real princesses don’t kiss toads.”

“I read past my bedtime.”

I don’t care if he’s a fictional character, I still want to marry him.

“Health tip: If you can’t afford a doctor, go to an airport — you’ll get a free x-ray and a breast exam, and; if you mention Al Qaeda, you’ll get a free colonoscopy.

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