Dealing with a Defiant Child

Just as there are no two adults alike in the world there are no two children who are exactly alike. Parents may find themselves surprised to have one child who is completely happy and rarely causes any problems to go on to have another child that likes to test above and beyond their boundaries. While there are many days when dealing with a child like this can be extremely difficult there are ways to help. Here is a look at some ways to deal with a defiant child.

1. Keep a consistent schedule. Most children, even the most agreeable love to have consistency in their lives. This is especially true for hard to handle children. It is important to get keep a regular schedule. This does not mean you have to be up at exactly 6:30 every morning even on weekends but rather that you keep up with the same habits and rituals. For example if the child is used to going to bed being tucked in with a story read to them keeping up this routine will help keep them safe and most importantly calm. Staying calm is an important key when dealing with a defiant child.

2. Remain firm but quiet. It can be extremely frustrating to keep your cool when you are dealing with a child who is refusing to do what you are telling them, constantly questioning you or even yelling at you. Keep your voice quiet but firm letting them know YOU are in control. If it gets to be too much take the situation to a quiet place such as their bedroom and walk away for a few minutes until you regain your composure. Children with this type of behavior feel as though they are “winning” the battle if you get upset and start to raise your voice or if they see you get upset. If you are in a public place give them one warning and if they do not comply even if it is difficult, take them out of the situation.

3. Praise them when they do a good deed. This can be as simple as them saying “Please” and “Thank You”. Letting them know you are proud of them and that they are doing a good job can make all the difference. Try and give them as much positive attention as you can.

4. Don’t be afraid to get help. Talking to the child’s doctor can help a great deal. They can give you some great advice on how to help them. Whether it be altering their diet to see if it helps to suggesting a good counselor for them to talk to if the doctor thinks it is a good idea.

5. Try to do something special with your child. Having “dates” with your child where you do something as simple as taking them to the park or taking them outside to fly a kite can be special. This is a great way for not only the children but the parents to make special memories and really enjoy each other’s company.