Top Ten Gift Ideas for Rednecks

1. Toilet seat-The hillbilly in your family will be ecstatic when he rips open his or her new redneck Christmas gift. Now, he or she will be able to play hillbilly horseshoes forever. Hillbilly horseshoes is a very popular game in every redneck community. Watch him or her smile a crooked toothless grin when they open one of their favorite games this Christmas. Approximate cost of hillbilly horseshoe, free if taken from the Seven Eleven down the street.

2. Four soup cans and four boards-This gift is often given to newlyweds in the hillbilly community. A simple gift for the redneck that is soon to be getting married is the hillbilly bed frame. The cans and boards can be used to setup the hillbilly bed frame for the newly married couple, but beware too much bouncing may cause the cans to bend under pressure.

3. Aluminum foil-Every high-tech hillbilly on your Christmas gift giving list will appreciate this thoughtful redneck gift with gratitude. Aluminum foil has been used for years in every hillbilly community and household to improve on television reception. Buck Mix of Dry Springs, Kentucky says,” By using aluminum foil on my antenna I am able to pick up most of my local channels in the area.” “Just wrap the aluminum foil tightly around the top of your rabbit ears for the best results.” Buck’s wife, Bernice says, “By wrapping aluminum foil around my dentures I can hear all of the Jeff Foxworthy, redneck games broadcast in my head.”

4. Hillbilly three-piece chicken dinner-Give this gift to that special redneck gift in your life for a wonderful laugh. You must get three kernels of corn, wrap them tightly in your hand, ask your unsuspecting friend, ” Would you like a three piece chicken dinner?”, and now for the punch line hand them the three pieces of corn.

5. Make it yourself beer cooler-Every redneck will appreciate your ingenuity when you give him or her the directions for the make it yourself beer cooler kit. Take a two liter Coke bottle and cut the top off, add water to the bottom of the Coke bottle, insert a can of green beans into the water and put in the freezer for a few hours, when the water is completely frozen remove the can of green beans and presto, your very own make it yourself beer cooler! Insert beer into the hole and your ready to go!

6. Soap-Most people can’t wait to see their loved ones face, which hasn’t been seen for years in most cases, after washing with soap. This is a much appreciated redneck gift item in the hillbilly community.

7. Sears and Roebuck Catalog- The perfect redneck gift for those still using the old fashioned outdated outhouse. When the corncob will not do, the Sears and Roebuck catalog is the one for you.

8. Fat Back Relaxer-Every overweight hillbilly will appreciate a new or slightly used recliner. Miss Bertha Bustro, from Monkey’s Elbow, Kentucky says, “Thank you sister for getting me my recliner last year, a great place to rest my fat back.”

9. Washers-He or she will go crazy when you stuff their stockings with some washers one of the ultimate redneck gifts. For hours of play the recommended list of gifts are eight washers, one shovel, and two empty soup cans. These ingredients will be all they will need to create the most loved sport in hillbilly heaven. First, bury the can in the dirt so only the hole is showing (APPROXMATELY ten feet away), divide into two teams, now try and pitch your washer into the opponents can, whoever is the closets wins.

10. Deliverance-For the hillbilly who has everything, a copy of the movie Deliverance is a must need for his or her movie collection. Played for hours in every hillbilly home, the words treasured by every hillbilly, “Squeal like a pig!”