Categories: Diseases & Conditions

Someone Cure My Pack Rat Syndrome Before It’s Too Late

Okay, so maybe “Pack Rat Syndrome” isn’t a real disorder but I think it should be. I would happily welcome researchers into my home all in the name of science. They could study this odd behavior and create a standardized checklist based upon my living habits and continued relapse into purchasing and packing despite the clutter and chaos.

Researchers would first note the obvious addiction by cataloging all of the unnecessary mishmash of belongings I own, which would probably take them one year or longer. From craft supplies to old magazines to clothing 3 sizes too small, they will become fascinated by the strange fixation on saving everything. They will surely take note of the fact that these things are kept in no particular order, perhaps even referencing Martha Stewart’s home as the polar opposite of the extreme pack rat’s.

As the research continues the scientists will find out that pack rats tend to cohabitate. It will logically become part of the checklist as an imperative part of the pack rat’s living arrangements. They will only become aware of this fact after spending enough time in my home to learn that my husband is indeed an in-the-closet pack rat. After peeling back layers of my own collection they will come across items that seem uncharacteristic to my hoard. Items such as baseball cards stuffed between pages of psychology books, wide assortments of Asian decorations with the yard sale stickers still firmly in place and photographs from fifth grade Jewish Community Center camp will undoubtedly tip them off that there is another sufferer in the house. This new finding will complicate things and extend their need for research even further.

It can be complicated for the non-pack rat to understand why we creatures hold on to material things when they obviously cause disarray and disorganization. We don’t need them, yet cannot part with them. We don’t have a use for that antique cookie press found at a church fair for a dollar, yet must purchase it and store it in a cupboard. We’ll never again fit into clothes we wore in high school or boots with 6-inch platforms but must keep them anyway. For the pack rat, material items seem to keep things real – and besides, you’ll never know when you’ll need that scuba mask from your honeymoon in Hawaii or decide to finish painting that canvas, plate or vase you started a few years ago.

However, suffering form extreme forms of the pack rat disorder can interfere with normal living. Clutter everywhere can begin to take over and before you know it, your house will be overrun. Organizing your collection will prove to be a wise choice, even if throwing the junk out is a better one that you are simply not ready for. Looking around at a freshly arranged environment can be like a breath of fresh air when you are used to seeing stuff everywhere. Living in clutter can be depressing and overwhelming.

Social drinking, much like average collecting, is acceptable and causes no need for alarm. Alcoholism, much like pack rat syndrome, prompts loved ones to intervene. Compulsive hoarding of unnecessary belongings is a viscous disease and should be treated as such. If needed, friends and family may want to consider an intervention to catapult the pack rat into organization. Any opposition should be treated with harsh consequences but may push the pack rat into further compulsive behavior. Be prepared to find the pack rat using the Internet to order items to his or her door as a way of tricking you into believing they are no longer contributing to the problem. They may tell you they are no longer going out to purchase any more items to hoard, then may strike a deal with the postman that includes leaving packages in the bushes by the front gate or under the deck in the backyard. Ebay, offering their many tchotchkes and oddities unfortunately has become a key enabler to the victim of pack rat syndrome.