Quotes from Space Ghost Coast to Coast

Here are some funny quotes from the cartoon talk show, Space Ghost Coast to Coast.

(Elevator)

Space Ghost: (laughs) Judy, tell me, is there anything you admire about me?

Judy Tenuta: Oh, Space Ghost, I love it that you are invisible, and that you don’t eat my food, because you’re a cartoon character, you know, like my big fat roommate Blowsanne! (does Roseanne voice) Hey, Judy, hey, I want that donut ‘n stuff! (makes raspberry sound)

Space Ghost: It sounds like you have many friends. Do people want to be your friend because you’re so famous?

Judy Tenuta: Space Ghost, you must remember one thing: friends are just enemies who don’t have the guts to kill you!

Space Ghost: Judy, are friends just enemies who don’t have the guts to kill you?

Judy Tenuta: Yes! Friends are just enemies who don’t have the guts to kill you!

(Banjo)

Space Ghost: Hey Al, tell us about your new record.

Weird Al Yankovic: Oh please, Space Ghost, um, I, I came on your show because I’m a, I’m a big fan, not to plug my latest album…

Space Ghost: Wrong! Next question! Super powers, got any?

Weird Al Yankovic: Well, um, I can eat my own weight in Ding Dongs. I can turn red traffic lights green just by staring at them, and I can do an oil painting with my butt.

Space Ghost: That’s enough to get you on this show.

Weird Al Yankovic: Yeah, times are a little hard, I guess.

(Lovesick)

Carrot Top: Why do they call me Carrot Top?

Space Ghost: Yeah.

Carrot Top: ‘Cause all the good ones were taken.

Space Ghost: Like “loser”.

Carrot Top: Hootie.

Space Ghost: Hootie?

Carrot Top: I wanted to be Hootie. Hootie! Say it, it’s fun. Hootie!

Space Ghost: Uh, Hootie.

Zorak: Hootie?

Moltar: Hootie?

Carrot Top: Hootie! Isn’t that fun?

Moltar: Hootie!

Zorak: Hootie!

Carrot Top: Ladies and gentlemen, Hootie!

(Fire Ant)

Conan O’Brien: You know, I’ve been interviewed by all of them. Regis. Kathie Lee. Regis and Kathie Lee.

Space Ghost: Right.

Conan O’Brien: I’d like to say that I think this show is very bad…

Space Ghost: Okay.

Conan O’Brien: …and should be stopped.

Space Ghost: Okay.

Conan O’Brien: I think you’re a bad person, and don’t take this the wrong way…

Space Ghost: All right.

Conan O’Brien: …but I think you represent evil…

Space Ghost: Yeah.

Conan O’Brien: …and your presence makes any kind of progress in the universe impossible.

(In Memory of Elizabeth Reed)

William Shatner: I love a good donkey.

Moltar: Yeah.

William Shatner: You can take a donkey by the ear (makes grabbing gesture with his fists) and hold on tight,,,

Moltar: Uh, okay…

William Shatner: … and ride across the range, and look really rather romantic.

Moltar: (chuckles)

William Shatner: While you hold onto the ear, and you’re riding bareback.

Moltar: (excited) You ever been to a donkey show, Bill?!

(Idlewild South)

Jeff Probst: Have you seen the show “Survivor,” Space Ghost?

Space Ghost: Uhh, yeah. A bunch of guys killin’ each other.

Jeff Probst: Well, it’s a mixture of guys and girls.

Space Ghost: (sitting up) Dancin’ around, killin’ each other.

(Dreams)

Triumph: Who watches this show?

Space Ghost: Don’t know.

Triumph: Anybody?

Space Ghost: Not sure.

Triumph: Seriously?

Space Ghost: Seriously!

(Flipmode)

Busta Rhymes: You need to give me… a pair of them laser wrist things you be running around the place with.

Space Ghost: Why?

Busta Rhymes: I’m gonna use ’em.

Space Ghost: For what?

Busta Rhymes: I might use ’em to zap you with ’em.

Space Ghost: Okay.

Busta Rhymes: Give ’em to me.

Space Ghost: I will.

Busta Rhymes: So let me have it.

Space Ghost: I will.

(Sweet for Brak)

Zorak: Look, Satan is supposed to come pick it up.

Moltar: Shyeah, man, we’re doin’ it for Satan.

Space Ghost: Satan. Did I meet him? At, at the open house?

Moltar: Yeah, he was the guy, that was tryin’ to get you to- kill that girl.

Zorak: Yeah, you know, with the necktie. And, uh, crown made of femurs.

Space Ghost: Uh, I don’t remember him.

Zorak: Maybe you didn’t see him. Your eyes were all rolled back in your head.

Moltar: Yeah, man, and you kept sayin’ “Satan, daddy, satan!”

Space Ghost: Femurs?

(The Justice Hole)

Dave Thomas: Alright, Space Ghost, how thick is your neck?

Space Ghost: I’ll ask the questions, Dave. How thick is my neck? It’s 48 inches.

Dave Thomas: That’s a decent sized neck.

Space Ghost: Radius, Dave.

Dave Thomas: 48 inch radius.

Space Ghost: Radius.

Dave Thomas: How do you measure it, with a straightened coat hanger or…

Space Ghost: I just cut my head off and count the rings on my esophagus.

Dave Thomas: Fair enough.

Space Ghost: What’s that on your jaw, Dave? Oh-h-h, it’s fat.

Dave Thomas: Thank you for even acknowledging that I have a jaw, Space Ghost.

Space Ghost: (in low voice) Not much of one.

(Curling Flower Space)

Space Ghost: …pairs of underwear. And I always bring one entire knapsack full of soap.

Sarah Jessica Parker: Um, and you are?

Space Ghost: Space Ghost.

Sarah Jessica Parker: (laughing) Right. Uh, is your full name “Space Ghost Coast to Coast” or is it just “Space Ghost”?

Space Ghost: Uh, I don’t know. Hey! Want to see how high I can jump?

Sarah Jessica Parker: Hmm…

Space Ghost: I can jump high! I can go real high!

Sarah Jessica Parker: (laughing) No, I thought maybe you were joking.

Space Ghost: Okay! Here goes! (takes off) Weeeeeeeee!!!

(Sarah Jessica Parker hides her face in her hands as Space Ghost bounces around the studio)

(Cahill)

Garrett Morris: Do they, like, believe in cash out there in the universe?

Space Ghost: (still under his desk) What’s this now?

Garrett Morris: Money money money money money.

Space Ghost: I don’t have any money.

Garrett Morris: (sings) Money!

Space Ghost: (sings) I don’t have any!

Garrett Morris: (sings) Some people, got to have it.

Space Ghost: I don’t have any money (stands up)

Garrett Morris: (sings) Some people, really need it.

Space Ghost: Hellooo! (sits down)

Garrett Morris: (sings) Do things, do things, do things, good things with it.

Space Ghost: I’m talkin’ to myself.

(Toast)

Space Ghost: You know, Adam, I can hug all night.

Adam Carolla: Although I never see you with any women.

Space Ghost: What do you mean? Women are all over me like proton shields on the lost city of Guf.

Adam Carolla: But yet you go home from the studio each night alone.

Space Ghost: I have my puzzles.

Adam Carolla: But you can’t squeeze puzzles.

Space Ghost: You could squeeze puzzles.

Adam Carolla: Yeah, but the covered bridge you just made would break and go into a million pieces, and you’d have to rebuild it again, on your lonely kitchen table.

Space Ghost: Not if you laminate ’em.

(Sphinx)

Space Ghost: Greetings, Harland!

Harland Williams: Hello there… Billy.

Space Ghost: My name is not…

Moltar: Wheeeeeeeee! (slides by)

Space Ghost: … Billy.

Harland Williams: Oh. (winks)

Space Ghost: It’s Space Ghost.

Harland Williams: ‘kay, Billy. Gotcha. (winks again)

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Quotes gathered from www.snard.com/sg