How to Hook Up at a College Party

Hooking up at a college party is, in some ways, the epitome of the American dream. Everyone daydreams throughout their painful and stressful high schools years with the thought of one reason, and one reason alone: going to college and hooking up with girls at parties. Okay, so maybe this isn’t the sole reason that people manage to get through high schools, but for most average guys, this is a huge thing. It was for me, anyway.

So everything’s going great: you get to college, your parents hug and kiss you and maybe shed a tear, and there you are in your dorm room, hearing about all the great parties that are going on tonight and you’re invited! Your blood starts pumping-or is that hormones?-and you begin to imagine what your night is going to be like: wild, hot and exotic, with some girl whom you’ve never met before and, in all likelihood, will never meet again.

Only it’s not that easy, because you get to the party about which you were so excited, and you realize that you have no idea what to do to hook up with this college girl. From my college days in a fraternity at the University of California, Santa Barbara, let me tell you: it’s not the easiest thing to get down, but once you master it you will be able to reliably pick up college women for the next four, five or even seven years that you remain at your university.

When you get to the party, it’s a good idea to get very drunk. A lot of people will say that this is a bad idea, because your “game” goes out the window and you can’t use those great “pick up techniques” you read about on the Internet. The fatal flaw with this argument is that all these silly methods are supposed to do is bolster your confidence: alcohol does that without the studying. Now, don’t get me wrong here: I’m neither saying that “pick up artist” methods always don’t work, nor that you should be blacking out and then attempting to get your man meat wet; I’m just mentioning that having a couple of beers is the perfect way to become more confident, fluid and-with any luck-bonding with a nice lady over a game of beer pong or flip cup.

Now, after you’re a little bit tipsy and she’s having fun at the party too, take her to a different room to talk. No, I don’t mean ‘take her to another room to “talk,”‘ I actually mean that having a conversation with her-inebriated or not-is the best way to turn this fun night into a hook up. Talk about your life, her life, your goals, and hers-if you can’t even make some conversation with her, choose a different girl and rinse and repeat until you can.

After you talk for a little while and you decide the time is right, you can go in for the kiss. Make sure that she feels comfortable and you, even in your drunk state, don’t do anything stupid (like puke on her or say something extremely idiotic). Your kiss will turn into a make out, and if you’re lucky you can walk her to one of your rooms (or in it). The rest, my friend, is history. Remember, though, that if it does lead to sex, use a condom! Girls, just like you, like to go out and have a good time-don’t let one that happens to have a disease (or a baby) ruin your college life. Good luck!