How to Get Revenge on the Co-Worker from Hell

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is meant for Humor only.

Is there someone you work with that you absolutely cannot stand? Do you find yourself wishing this person would just quit or be fired? Of course, in life, we all have personality conflicts, but we are generally able to bite our tongues and move on. In most cases, I can block out pretty much anyone who annoys me. They can be speaking directly to me, and although it appears I’m listening, I’m actually not and I have no idea what they have said.

One of those annoying people works with me. He has been at the company forever, and thinks he has some sort of entitlement. He is loud, obnoxious, and a drama queen. He has to be the center of every conversation and expects the whole world to revolve around him. He brown-noses, gossips, and attempts to start trouble. To deal with this, I have come up with the top ten ways to get back at your stupid and annoying coworkers.

I must preface this list by stating:

Should you decide to do any of the things in the list below, be fully aware that severe repercussions could occur. You are responsible for your own actions and should any item on this list backfire, it is of no fault of mine. (You are just not clever enough!)

1. Pull all the keys off his keyboard, rearrange them in different spots. He does not know how to type properly anyway, he hunts and pecks. It will take him forever to fix it.

2. Find out what he is working on and when he leaves his desk, delete the file. (Don’t forget to empty the recycle bin)

3. Put thumbtacks in his chair.

4. When he leaves his desk, rearrange everything on it. Turn his monitor around, move everything to a different location.

5. Delete his saved email. Delete his contact list. Do it every time he fixes it, it will make him appear incompetent.

6. Each time he leaves his desk, turn his computer off.

7. Ignore him when he speaks. Do not look at him at all. Pretend he is not there, Mr. “I need affirmation” will hate that. He must have attention.

8. When he leaves his desk, page him to come to the office, then when he gets there tell him never mind. Do this several times a day.

9. Pour salt in his coffee.

10. Pull the cords almost all the way out of his computer, then when he asks for help tap them as you walk by, and act like he’s crazy, because nothing is wrong.

None of these things will cure your urge to throw you stapler and hit him square between the eyes. However, they will cause him just a little annoyance to make up for the pure hell your day has become because of him.

If your idiot is like mine, he will repeat the same things over and over, so be careful about what you do in retaliation, you will relive it for weeks.