How to Get Over “One Night Stand” Guilt

Uh-oh… Your first date went a little too well, and you’re now doing the “Walk of Shame.” Engaging in a sexual encounter with someone you don’t know well can be quite nerve-wracking. This is why many relationship experts advise against getting involved physically too soon. There are all sorts of reasons why people engage in casual sex. For some, it’s all in fun. Others use sex as a means of getting closer to someone they really like. But if you’re feeling any amount of guilt when the light of day hits, then you’re probably not having as much fun as you think you are.

Stop Beating Yourself Up.

What’s done is done. Hopefully, you took all the necessary “safety” precautions. If so, then you’ll have to accept that there’s nothing you can do to change the past 24 hours. The best thing you can do is acknowledge that as an adult, you made an adult decision. If you’re really feeling uneasy about what’s taken place, accept that feeling and be strong enough to admit that you might have made a mistake-even if you admit it only to yourself.

What Do I Say to Him/Her?

Here is the sticky part. If you’re familiar with the object of your affections, then you should have little problem addressing your night of unbridled lust. There are however, a few things you should consider. How well do you really know the person? If you’ve crossed the line with someone who was previously a platonic friend, then you’ll definitely have some things to discuss. Just as jumping into a cold swimming pool is the best way to get over the shock, getting directly to the point will help you to get your feelings off your chest, without letting any negativity fester. In the event that you’ve had a one-night-stand with a relative stranger, the important conversation that you have just might be with yourself.

Ask Yourself What You Want.

The fact that you’re experiencing any “morning after” guilt at all means that you’re uncomfortable with some aspect of your physical encounter. This is the perfect time to ask yourself what exactly you expect from your romantic life in the future. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, people project their inner desires onto the person nearest to them at the time. If you know that you’re looking to make a serious connection with someone soon, you’ll have to examine the way you’re going about things.

Figure Out Why It Happened.

If your dalliance was a one-night stand or an adulterous affair, you’ll certainly need to delve more deeply into the circumstances, and figure out how you’ve arrived at this place. At this point, getting over the guilt will probably be the least of your troubles. Human beings make mistakes. And if your most recent encounter was a relatively “new” mistake, you can certainly learn from it and move on. Ultimately, you’ll have to reconcile your feelings with what’s happened, and get to the root of things. While errors in judgment are common in romantic relationships, a series of them could be a red flag for some deeper issues.

SOURCES:

www.ivillage.com
www.dearcupid.org
www.infidelity.com