Getting Your Boyfriend to Say “I Love You”

There is no doubt in my mind that your boyfriend loves you very much. The problem is he doesn’t say it how you want him to. Men and women have a different approach to many things in life, and this includes romance.

Men tend to show you that they love you by doing things for you. Remember when you called him during the super bowl and asked him to come over and fix your washing machine? He didn’t do that because he didn’t have anything better to do. He did it because he loves you. Or that time it was storming really badly at 3 a.m. and you thought you “heard” something outside and he walked around outside in the rain to face whatever deadly creature you pictured in your head? Again, he did it because he loves you.

Being a girl I can see where you would want him to vocally proclaim his love for all or at least for you to hear. There are few better things in the world than hearing “I love you”. For some reason this natural for us to say, but it seems like it’s a second language for guys. Men think that showing emotions of any kind shows weakness. This can either be from all those times he fell off his bike and he dad always said “don’t cry” or “boys don’t cry”, or it’s encoded in their DNA. I’m not a scientist, I don’t really know. What I do know is men need to be taught some things. Good thing we’re good teachers!

You can easily get the ball rolling by telling him that you love him. To keep that ball rolling reward him. Men are primal creatures and respond to anything that they know will end up getting them some. Show him lots of attention when he manages to mumble out those precious words. The more he progresses the more his reward progresses. The process would go something like this. You say you love him, he says he loves you back, he gets a little something. It’s sort of like Pavlov and those trained salivating dogs. They do say men are dogs so why not use the same theory? This process will condition him with positive reinforcement. The more he gets used to the rewards the more he’ll start to say it without being prompted. It’s not the exact same technique, but it works for our purposes.

If the psychological route doesn’t work, don’t hesitate to flat out tell him. Men believe that if they are doing things for you that you know that means they love you. It will be easier on the both of you if you just lay it on the table and let him know your expectations. Once he knows what you expect he can live up to it.

He may begin to test the waters by saying “love you” or by sending text messages that say “luv ya”. There aren’t huge differences in those and the actual phrase “I love you”. As he gets more comfortable saying those you can adjust the way he says it.