Easing Separation Anxiety in Children

All children have separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is usually a stage that happens between 16 months and 24 months. Sometimes separation anxiety occurs at five years old. Most children have separation anxiety for a short period of time. If a routine is followed, separation anxiety usually subsides quickly.

Your child may get separation anxiety when they go to school around five years old. This may become a problem if you don’t reassure your child. Continue your routine and reassure your child at the same time when the separation anxiety stage occurs.

Most parents consider their children “clingy” during the separation anxiety stage. A child won’t want to leave his or her parent’s side during the separation anxiety stage. The child will cry when the parent leaves the room or drops the child at daycare. The parent feels torn, but he or she has to let their child develop.

Reasoning with a child at 16 months old, doesn’t work. You should always talk to your child. Tell your child ahead of time you’re going to the store and he or she is staying with the babysitter. Tell your child when you are leaving the room, what you’re going to do, and you will be back.

If your child throws violent fits, not just crying obnoxiously, you may want to practice leaving the room. Start for short periods of time. Talk to your child as you leave the room. Continue talking to him or her from the other room. Then, stop talking. Wait a couple of minutes and go back into the room. Make a big deal that you came back. Never make a big deal out of leaving.

Your child may go to daycare and has never “missed” you before. Now, your child screams every day. Be assured, it’s just a stage. Children will get separation anxiety as they develop and start noticing what’s going on. Even babies know they are in a daycare or somewhere different, but they don’t realize that means YOU are NOT there.

When toddlers show signs of separation anxiety it’s a good thing. Parents don’t think it’s a good thing while their child is screaming “mommy” or “daddy. Toddlers are noticing the world around them and this is the stage you know they are growing and changing.

When your child starts school, he or she may exhibit signs of separation anxiety. This may be caused because they are in a new environment and they are scared. A routine should be established. At five years old your child can talk to you. Ask them why they are upset and if there is anything you can do, within reason.

Be sure that in your routine you don’t make a big deal about leaving. Get your child to where he or she needs to be and leave quickly. Once your child realizes that’s where he or she is going to be, they usually make the most of it and have fun.

Just like with toddlers, let your child know ahead of time where you are going, and where they are going. There won’t be any surprises for either of you. Make sure you let your child know he or she will have fun, or maybe tell your child you will do something special after this takes place. If you promise your child something be sure you give it to them. Otherwise, you will lose any credibility you have with them.