A Guide to Introduction Etiquette

Etiquette is not exactly at the top of the list of things that young people are taught any more. As a result, social skills are at a level not seen since caveman days. (Don’t tell the guys at Geico I said that.) While much social etiquette does seem to be better gone with the wind, there are some things that young people really should learn just to facilitate conversation. I’m speaking of introductions especially. Most kids and teens and even twentysomethings today are absolutely clueless when it comes to the fine art of introduction. Here are some rules and guidelines if you happen to be at all interested in attaining some kind of ability to conduct yourself in slightly more formal settings where introductions like “Yo, dude” don’t really go over too well.

Who should introduce whom? The standardization of introduction etiquette states that men introduce women, the younger person introduces himself to the older person, and those of a lesser rank in the hierarchy in which you inhabit introduce themselves to those of a higher rank. Obviously, this standardization can be thorny in the specifics. For instance, what to do if the boss is a woman who is younger than you? Apparently, rank trumps the age thing so under normal circumstances even if the boss is younger than you, male or female, you would introduce yourself first.

Ever been in one of those situation comedy situations where you are called upon to introduce two people, but you can only remember the name of one of them? Well, here’s how to approach that problem. Introduce the person you know by their full name and then give enough pause for the other to introduce themselves. This usually works quite well, as in “This is Bessie Higgenbottom” [pause] at which point Bessie’s friend will usually step in to say “And I’m Gautier Van Cleave.”

What about the details of the relationship of the people who are being introduced? If you are introducing yourself as a couple to a gathering of people you should be aware that there is absolutely no rule that means you have to give any deeply detailed personal information. In other words, you neither have to introduce your friend as “Emily, my next door neighbor”, “Emily, who works over in accounting”, or even “Emily, the chick I’ve been having hot sex with every weekend for three weeks.” Of course, in the case of most guys that last one is probably introductory information you will want to give, but keep in mind that Emily may have feelings as well even though she is just a woman. She may even be an accountant with feelings, though that is much less likely. Of course, this particular rule is also flexible; especially in cases where you may suddenly show up at a gathering you visit with regularly with someone they’ve never seen before. In that particular case, it is probably best to remember that these people will naturally be curious. Of course, that may be seen as a wonderful opportunity to screw around with them, but otherwise go ahead and introduce “Emily, my cousin from Winnetka who I haven’t seen since she was a scrawny tomboy who beat me up every summer.”