5 Worst Reasons Call the Cops

Last week’s news contained one of the most pathetic reasons ever for calling the cops- the prestigious Boston Latin School’s principal called the cops to quell rumors of vampires on campus. Vampire rumors, cops… yes, fits squarely in the job description- not. The Boston Latin vampire news report inspired this compilation of the 5 worst reasons to call the cops. You won’t read about the vampires at the start of the list- they earned the #1 slot.

Call the Cops: #5 Worst Reason Ever

Quashing vampire rumors is not the only ridiculous demand the men in blue have fielded lately. There was Latreasa Goodman who felt she was being ripped off by McDonald’s when they ran out of chicken nuggets and refused to return her money, instead telling her to order something else. Goodman called the cops on the 911 emergency number 3 times over this same complaint. Had she called the cops on the police non-emergency number in the midst of what she considered blatant theft, her case might have generated sympathy. But 3 911 calls to the cops for emergency aid to get the price of her chicken nuggets refunded?

Call the Cops: #4 Worst Reason Ever

Boing Boing reported on March 17 that the police in a small town in Mississippi threatened a woman with child endangerment charges after hundreds of busybodies allegedly called the cops on 911, incensed that she let her 10 year old son walk 1/3 mile in a safe neighborhood in broad daylight to soccer practice. The mom had even supplied her son with her cell phone to use in case of emergency. But 3 blocks into the walk, the police intercepted the boy and later confronted the mother at the soccer practice.

The mom stood her ground, having done nothing irresponsible or worthy of child endangerment charges, and the matter was dropped.

Call the Cops: #3 Worst Reason Ever

I admit to having a flexible attitude on reasons for calling the cops, but I also must admit to being guilty in my youth of naively having called the cops for one of the worst reasons ever. Blame it on my dad if you’d like. He always told me that when you have a problem and don’t know what to do, call the cops, they will always help you. Silly, dad.

When I was 20, I moved into an apartment on a weekend with 2 other girls. We rented from an agency open weekdays 9-5 and our lease contained no after hours contact information or identification of the property owner. We were impoverished students, yet to find jobs for the summer.

Our first night in the apartment, the toilet pipe disconnected at the wall, spraying water with great force through the bathroom. The force was too strong for us to secure the pipe back into place,and we couldn’t find a turn off valve. With no landlord or rental agency available, no money for a plumber, and the phone not yet connected, I trekked out to the pay phone alongside the trolley tracks and called the cops.

The dispatcher politely informed me I needed a plumber, not the cops. I explained our situation, but he didn’t seem to get it, insisting that there was nothing the police could do. Finally, in frustration, I blurted out, “My father told me that whenever you have a problem and don’t know what to do, call the cops and they will help you.”

I insisted, “The cops have to help us, that’s their job.”

The dispatcher must have had kids of his own. He sighed and sent two cops to our apartment to fix our toilet.

Call the Cops: #2 Worst Reason Ever

A 911 operator reported in a stupid reasons to call the cops forum that he has regularly gotten calls from people complaining that the garbage collectors had come early, presumably before they had time to put the garbage out.

Call the Cops: #1 Worst Reason Ever

Ah, there they are, the vampires again. On March 26, Boston Latin School headmaster Lynne Mooney Teta responded to accelerating rumors of vampires in the school by not only issuing a memo to faculty, parents and students but by calling the cops. A police spokesman told the Boston Globe regarding police response to rumors of vampires that when you have “an $800 million budget and 212 layoffs, this is not really a priority.”

Nooo…. When is responding to rumors of vampires in school a police priority, I wonder?

So in order of declining importance: calling the cops is a bad idea if you are refused a refund on chicken nuggets (and are calling on the 911 emergency line), if you see a 10 year old walking on the street in broad daylight in a safe neighborhood, if you have a broken toilet, if the garbage collectors come early, or if someone is spreading vampire rumors at your school.

Sources:
http://news.aol.com/article/911-mcnuggets-call/367995;

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1599535/boston_latin_school_vampires_twilight.html?cat=2;

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2009/03/27/vampire_rumors_spur_alert_at_boston_latin___on_bullying/;

http://www.boston.com/news/education/higher/articles/2009/03/26/rumors_bites_headmaster_denies_vampires_at_school/;

http://www.classicbattletech.com/forums/index.php?action=printpage;topic=38746.0;

http://boingboing.net/2009/03/17/kid-walks-to-soccer.html.