Roland Emmerich’s 1998 reimagining of “Godzilla” was a stinker of epic proportions. All the hype surrounding it in made the finished film feel like a vicious insult, and even with reduced expectations it is still an awful movie. Still, none of this has stopped people from wondering if “Godzilla” would have been more successful under a different name. The answer is a resounding NO. Changing the title would not have changed anything about the bad acting, stupid story, or atrocious dialogue that earned this cinematic mess several Golden Raspberry Awards. In fact, naming it anything else would make it seem even worse in comparison to the original 1954 which inspired it.
The script and direction has all the characters acting like they are in some sitcom long past its prime. All of them are essentially caricatures and one-dimensional clichés, so how would changing the movie’s title make up for all that? Even with one of the following titles, “Godzilla” still comes up way too short:
“All In The Lizard”
“Deadly Days”
“Monster Trek”
“The Monster Bunch”
Even if it wasn’t named “Godzilla,” fans would still be comparing it to all the monster movies ever made and not just the 1954 original. You’re still dealing with a massive reptilian creature, so how can you not compare it? The more people try to escape comparisons, the more they invite them.
It also wouldn’t change the special effects which ended up taking away from how frightening this monster could have been. We know CGI effects when we see them, and it broke a lot of hearts to think designing Godzilla this way was considered preferable to just having a man in a rubber suit. It would have made for a more exciting film as the creature would have been more lifelike and unpredictable.
Even if you did try any other name for “Godzilla,” critics and audiences would still have been shouting out loud:
“JURASSIC PARK RIP OFF!
Remember when Matthew Broderick and company entered Madison Square Garden and discovered the eggs Godzilla laid? Once one of them hatched, the first thing it wanted to do was eat humans. This of course led to a chase which left audiences wondering if we were actually watching “Jurassic Park III.” Even in comparison with the original “Jurassic Park,” this movie would have failed miserably under any other title.
Look, you can polish a turd all you want, but it’s still a turd. Changing “Godzilla’s” title will not change anything. It’ll still be a bad movie and will always pale in comparison to the 1954 movie which started his adventures of smashing buildings and destroying cities. One can only hope that when Hollywood does bring this monster back again (and they will) that they will learn from Roland Emmerich’s mistakes.
You want a good monster movie? Watch “Cloverfield” instead.
See also:
‘Godzilla’ (1998)
‘Cloverfield’
