White elephant parties often feature insane gifts that no one in their right mind would want to own. If the recipient wants to keep something that they will never use, or that they have to store until next Christmas’ white elephant party, then that is a great gift idea.
But, it is just as easy to give fun gifts that the people can actually use, and that you might already have lying around. You may have a few such items from being given gifts that you already have. That’s how I ended up with three copies of John Lennon’s “Shaved Fish” album. White elephant parties were originally to regift items or to get rid of things that you hate, so let’s clean out the closets and take it back to those roots.
Regifts- Everyone gets things that they just can’t use, don’t like, or the occasional gift that leaves you just unsure as to what it is. These are all perfect fodder for the white elephant party. Examples of this, just, um, hypothetically, are play sets that go with dollhouses that you don’t own, scary toys that are given to your children (think of the clown from Poltergeist), John Lennon’s “Shaved Fish” album, cheap ceramics that look homemade, and some kind of plug thing that is supposed to make your computer do some stuff. All of these items were manufactured for a purpose- money was paid for them, and carbon emissions were spent to have them produced. There is no need to just let them lie around with no purpose. By all means- regift.
Stuff that you can’t use- Some of these may be regifts, and may be perfectly nice items, but you just can’t use them. Back when people mainly used gift certificates, there was a limit on regifting them- they had your name in the “to” blank. But in this era of gift cards, who will know? If you, hypothetically of course, can’t stand TGI Friday’s, and yet still get a gift certificate to it every single year, pay it forward.
Stuff laying around your house- This is where a lot of the best white elephant gifts come from. Have a hideous vase that you can’t get rid of because Aunt Peony might come to visit ad you don’t want it missing? Life is too short- wrap it up and pass it on. Quit smoking? Pass along your old ashtrays and lighters. Quit exercising? Pass along that weird ab thing. Quit washing the dishes? Someone can use them. Everyone has a place for their socks that can’t be matched. Once a year, clean out that cache and wrap them up for the party. Socks are always useful- if no one wants to wear mismatched socks, they can always make puppets out of them. Everyone likes puppets.
If you really want to buy something for the party, there is only one place to do that correctly- the thrift store. You will never find a more retched hive of scum and villainy, and you might find a gigantic two-story ashtray that looks like it was used by the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland. You just can’t go wrong with something like that.
