I consider myself a Transformers expert on the cartoon and toys. I have seen every episode tons of times since the 80s. I have also been buying and selling G1 Transformers toys since 1994. In that time, I have owned almost every G1 toy about five times over, some over twenty. And I have owned several Japanese, bootleg, and knockoff toys.
Wow, this is another tough one. My original worst list was around seventy different toys! I narrowed it down to seven plus three subgroups of toys, which I count as ten. My list is not in any particular order. As Optimus would say, “Transform and…oh Matrix, I feel sick!”
Megatron
This is one of the Transformers where the creators must have started with the alt form (gun first) and worked backwards to robot form because the gun is dead on for a Walter P-38. It is so realistic that it was often taken by custom. Remakes are shipped with an orange piece around the barrel so people know it is a toy.
Megatron was originally released in Japan as part of Takara’s Microman line in the late 1970s and was called MC-12 Gun Robo. He is the evil leader of the Decepticons.
The gun is perfect; however, the robot form is ghastly. He is blocky, hard to pose, and has an awful looking head. He looks nothing like the cartoon version. And tons of kibble; his trigger’s in an obscene place.
Love his colors! He is mostly silver, grey, and black.
The transformation is tricky and somewhat annoying.
The two positives are how real the gun looks and the numbers of accessories. Most of his extras serve as his silencer, stock, and scope as well as his tripod canon that he stands behind. He also has a silver “canon.” The Japanese version has a sword and bullets.
Poseability: 5
Colors: 10
Accessories: 10
Show likeness: 2
Realisticness of alt form: 10
Kibble: 7
Fun factor: 6
Overall rating: 7.1
Cost today: around $130
Galvatron
This is probably the worst Transformer toy ever. He is a bad color, blocky, awful transformation, and looks nothing like his cartoon version. He is the reincarnation of Megatron and continued to serve as the evil leader of the Decepticons.
He is a ghastly light grey with a few purple parts. Awful! In the cartoon, he is mostly purple with a better face. His futuristic canon mode looks okay and his robot form is passable.
He suffers from articulation. Very few parts move. To go from canon to laser gun is ridiculous; you turn his treads and fold the handle down and sight up. Ugh! To get to robot, you turn his waist and unfold his arms. It is annoyingly simple with tons of kibble. Once in robot form, nothing moves but his arms!
The only positive is that his canon barrel (or eyes) light up and his belt or trigger set of electronic sounds.
No accessories, except a gun and his detachable canon.
Poseability: 1
Colors: 6
Accessories: 6
Show likeness: 2
Realisticness of alt form: 10
Kibble: 5
Fun factor: 8
Overall rating: 5.4
Cost today: around $80
Ironhide/Ratchet
Ironhide is another hideous Transformer toy. He originally came from Japan as a Diaclone. Ratchet is the same toy, repainted white as an ambulance.
Ironhide turns from a red van into a robot thing and the roof part turns into some kind of base/attack platform, both of which are ugly things that are hard to tell what they are. I suppose the base part is the best part. But the robot, ugh! He looks like a gangly trashcan without a head. I think his head’s there but his windshield’s in front of it.
The transformation is somewhat satisfying but the robot is mostly kibble.
Colors aren’t bad. Ironhide is mostly red and silver and Ratchet is mostly white and silver.
Both come with a silver gun, red gas cap, and three silver missiles.
Poseability: 7
Colors: 8
Accessories: 6
Show likeness: 0
Realisticness of alt form: 10
Kibble: 4
Fun factor: 4
Overall rating: 5.6
Cost today: around $85
Ultra Magnus
Another toy that originally came from Japan as a Diaclone with different colors.
Ultra Magnus is the city commander and second in command to Rodimus Prime.
This is a horrible toy. It has two parts: the big, goofy looking trailer with two long arms like a gorilla and the Optimus Prime cab.
His trailer is red, white, and light blue. The cab is pure white. I hate these colors.
What’s odd about this toy is that it has a repainted, cheap version of Optimus Prime’s cab. It transforms like Prime but has no name, which feels generic to me. To form Ultra Magnus, the trailer becomes the body, arms, and legs, and the cab does a 3/4 change into Prime, snapped into to trailer’s back, and a head is snapped over his. Crappy!
The nameless cab can be posed like Prime and the trailer arms can be moved a lot for alt forms. The Ultra Magnus form cannot be moved at all, except for his arms. He has no distinct legs, just one big block. He can’t be moved much or the cab falls out.
Both of his forms look like the cartoon but, in the show, he had legs!
The main positive is that his trailer really can hold a few medium-size Transformer cars. And his arms can serve as an elevated jet launch pad.
He comes with a bunch of accessories.
Poseability: 6.5
Colors: 8
Accessories: 9
Show likeness: 7
Realisticness of alt form: 10
Kibble: 7
Fun factor: 6
Overall rating: 7.6
Cost today: around $65
Jumpstarters / Battlechargers
This one is a whole subset of Transformers that are horrible. Both the Autobot Jumpstarters and Decepticon Battlechargers use a wind-up, spring-loaded gimmick. The Jumpstarters you pull back, let them roll, and their legs spring up, the body springs up, and they land on their feet. The Battlechargers you pull back, release, and they unfold.
Jumpstarters first. Twin Twist is white/blue and from the Diaclone toy line in Japan made by Takara. Topspin uses reverse colors and, whereas Twin Twist has two corkscrew drills, he has two skis. The packaging is stupid. They come in a big fancy box like the first toys. I believe inside is the carded bubble style insert, as opposed to styrofoam.
No transformation really. You just fold them in half and let them jump up. The balance doesn’t always work that great. There’s a switch behind the head that’s “supposed” to balance them.
Only the arms go up and down. One large silver gun is the only accessory.
Now the Battlechargers. Runabout is a black car with red windows and Runamuck is recolored white with black windows. These are very cheaply made and often become too loose to maintain the car form. But at least the packaging got smarter: a bubble on a card.
No transformation really but it sort of looks like it’s breaking apart. You just fold them his undercarriage back under the car, fold the back and hood straight, push his hood into place, and fold the arms to the side. It’s loose so it almost falls back into position. There’s no balance issue because it never leaves the ground.
Nothing moves on these, not even his arms! One red or black gun is the only accessory, which fits on the shoulder since it has no hands.
The only positive is the spring-loaded gimmick.
Poseability: 2
Colors: 3
Accessories: 1
Show likeness: 8
Realisticness of alt form: 10
Kibble: 5
Fun factor: 8
Overall rating: 5.2
Cost today: around $5
Throttlebots
These are similar to Battlechargers but smaller and without an autotransforming feature. Their pull-back motor just makes them roll. Beyond that they’re clunky, offer no poseability, and no weapons!
The Throttlebots, a sub-group of the Autobots, consisted of six toys that could transform between a car and a robot. They include Chase (red car), Freeway (blue car), Goldbug (gold VMW, reincarnation of Bumblebee), Rollbar (green jeep), Searchlight (white car), and Wideload (orange dumptruck).
Their transformations are identically simplistic. You lift the top of the vehicle to a standing position, flip out the side panels for arms, and flip back the rear of the car body for their heads.
No poseability at all!
I really despise these bots, even on the show.
Poseability: 1
Colors: 7
Accessories: 0
Show likeness: 7
Realisticness of alt form: 10
Kibble: 4
Fun factor: 1
Overall rating: 4.2
Cost today: around $5 each
Duocons
These are two awful toys right up there with the Throttlebots. Their gimmick is that each bot is two separate vehicles that when snapped together and a button area is pushed, the spring up into one robot.
Battletrap is a blue jeep and grey helicopter. Flywheels is a red jet and brown tank.
The transformation is slightly cool but loses its novelty after a short while. The bottom vehicle’s top half stands up and the top vehicle’s front half folds over the other vehicle.
The only moving part in robot form between both bots is Flywheels’ arms have an elbow joint. Each pair has one gun that can be attached in various places.
Poseability: 1
Colors: 7
Accessories: 5
Show likeness: 7
Realisticness of alt form: 9
Kibble: 4
Fun factor: 6
Overall rating: 5.5
Cost today: around $15
Cosmos
This is one of the most hideous of the Autobot minibot toys. While not as bad on the show, he’s an even worse toy. Note: On the show, he can hold a large group of bots, but the toy’s about two inches across!
As the name tells you, he’s a spaceship but a futuristic, UFO-saucer kind. His colors are awful for a UFO. He’s mostly olive green, a red head, and yellow body. Yuck!
The transformation is goofy. You pull the front of the saucer forward, fold his legs down, turn the saucer sides for his arms, and stretch his head up. Yawn!
His poseability is almost non-existent. He has no hands! The only part that moves are his arms.
As with most minibots, he has no weapons.
Poseability: 1
Colors: 4
Accessories: 0
Show likeness: 2
Realisticness of alt form: 8
Kibble: 5
Fun factor: 5
Overall rating: 3.5
Cost today: around $5-8
Powerglide
This is THE most hideous of the Autobot minibots toys. While not as bad on the show, he’s an even worse toy.
As the name tells you, he’s an airplane. He’s mostly red and grey.
The transformation is beyond goofy. You pull the rear wing section down, fold his wings up to his head, and fold his arms down. Yawn! The result is a standing plane with arms! Think Happy Meal toy.
His poseability is almost non-existent. He has no hands or legs! The only part that moves are his arms.
As with most minibots, he has no weapons.
Poseability: 2
Colors: 8
Accessories: 0
Show likeness: 2
Realisticness of alt form: 10
Kibble: 2
Fun factor: 2
Overall rating: 3.7
Cost today: around $5-8
Seaspray
This is one of the better Autobot minibots toys, which isn’t saying much. While not as bad on the show, he’s an even worse toy.
As the name tells you, he’s a hovercraft (boat). He’s mostly blue, white, and yellow. Think beach towel!
The transformation is one step longer than some minibts. You pull the front of the boat forward, stand the back up, fold the propellers back for his head, and fold his arms up.
His poseability is almost non-existent. He has no hands or legs! The only part that moves are his arms.
As with most minibots, he has no weapons.
Poseability: 3
Colors: 6
Accessories: 0
Show likeness: 5
Realisticness of alt form: 10
Kibble: 4
Fun factor: 4
Overall rating: 4.5
Cost today: around $5-8
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