The Ten Best, Or Maybe Worst, James Bond Double Entendres of All Time

James Bond has been around in many incarnations ever since Ian Fleming first introduced him to the world in book form. The most famous Bond of all is also the most overrated; frankly, I just don’t get the attraction for Sean Connery. The guy is so incredibly smarmy that it is hard to imagine Pussy Galore or Honey Ryder ever falling for his slimy lines. Throughout the history of James Bond from his very first big screen appearance to Casino Royale the films have been filled with more painful double entendres than a high school pep rally. Here are the top fifteen best/worst James Bond double entendres so far. Of course, it is vitally important to remember that Bond isn’t the only character who has been forced to say this atrocious/delicious dialogue.

10. The Spy Who Loved Me.
M: “Miss Moneypenny, where is 007 now?
Moneypenny: “He’s on a mission, sir. In Austria.”
M: “Well, tell him to pull out immediately!”

9. The World is Not Enough.
James Bond: (Speaking to a female nuclear physicist named Christmas): “I thought Christmas only comes once a year.” Made all the funnier by the fact that the actress playing a nuclear physicist named Christmas was Denise Richards. I wonder if she can even spell physicist. Or Christmas. Or Denise for that matter.

8. Tomorrow Never Dies.
Moneypenny: “You always were a cunning linguist, James.” This would perhaps have been funnier if the same joke hadn’t been doing on St. Elsewhere a decade earlier.

7. Live and Let Die.
Solitaire (Bond girl): “Is there time before we leave for Lovers’ Lesson number three?”
James Bond: “Absolutely. No sense going out half-cocked.”

6. Goldfinger.
Pussy Galore (the single greatest Bond girl name ever…except for Holly Goodhead): “My name is Pussy Galore.
James Bond: “I must be dreaming.”

5. A View to a Kill
James Bond: “I take it you spend quite a lot of time in the saddle.”
Jenny Flex (perhaps the most boring Bond girl name ever) “Yes, I love an early morning ride
James Bond: “Well, I’m an early riser myself.”

4. The Man with the Golden Gun.
James Bond: “I am now aiming precisely at your groin. So speak now or forever hold your piece.”

3. Moonraker.
M: “My God, what’s Bond doing?”
Q: “I think he’s attempting re-entry, sir.” Moonraker may well be the worst Bond movie ever, either it or For Your Eyes Only, but you’ve got to love the sheer audaciousness of that line.

2. A View to a Kill.
Max Zorin: “You slept well?”
James Bond: “A little restless, but I got off eventually.”

1. Diamonds are Forever.
There is almost nothing memorable about this movie, but this one little exchange almost makes it worth sitting through.
Plenty O’Toole: “Hi, I’m Plenty…Plenty O’Toole.”
James Bond: “Named after your father, perhaps?”