The Best Daria Quotes

If you love Daria , you’ll enjoy the following Daria quotes.

Daria first debuted on MTV in 1997. It follows Daria Morgendorffer, her family, friends and classmates who attend Lawndale High. Daria’s sarcastic and witty jabs at society, and the antics of the people around her make the show a classic.

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Quotes

Mrs. Manson: Now, Dora, let’s see if you can make up a story as vivid as your sister’s.

Daria: It’s Daria.

Mrs. Manson: I’m sorry… Daria. What do you see in the picture, Dara?

Daria: Um… a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.

Mrs. Manson: Uh, there aren’t any ponies. It’s two people.

Daria: Last time I took one of these tests they told me they were clouds. They said they could be whatever I wanted.

Mrs. Manson: That’s a different test, dear. In this test, they’re people and you tell me what they’re discussing.

Daria: Oh… I see. All right, then. It’s a guy and a girl and they’re discussing… a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.

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Daria: Okay, look, I’m not going to rewrite this paper for you, but I will give you a couple of tips that will help you rewrite it. First, the book title Sons and Lovers does not have an apostrophe in it… anywhere. Second, unless your ex-boyfriend is an authority on D.H. Lawrence, don’t base your thesis on something he said while making out.

College Girl: Mm. What about something he said when we broke up?

Daria: No.

College Girl: Mmm. Okay, thanks.

Daria: Thank you, and good luck with the doctorate.

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Daria: Isn’t modeling for people who drop out of high school to pursue a career based solely on youth and looks, both of which are inevitably declared dead at age 25?

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Marianne: Helen? It’s your daughter’s teacher.

Helen: Tell them I’ll make sure Quinn turns in the assignment on Monday, oh and, try to find out what the assignment is and if you could get started making notes on it.

Marianne: It’s your other daughter, I think.

Helen: Daria? Well then, tell them I’ll talk to her about her attitude and try to find out who she insulted and what she said.

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Daria: Did you just spend two hours dressing up to go the door for one minute and dump your date?

Quinn: Daria, if you look your best when you blow a guy off, it makes them feel like you care.

Daria: Well, that advice should prove very helpful. Sometimes your shallowness is so thorough, it’s almost like depth.

Quinn: Thanks.

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Brittany: The Telltale Heart? I love romance novels!

Daria: Yeah, nothing says “be mine” like a pounding heart beneath a floorboard.

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Daria: I almost killed a dog yesterday.

Jane: Gonna work your way up to humans slowly?

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Jane: This is just like a high school.

Daria: You know, I get the feeling we’ll be saying that all our lives.

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Brittany: Jane, your picture’s full of bloody people! That’s not a still life!

Jane: Sure it is. The blood’s the reason they’re so still.

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Val: Waterproof eye makeup is so important, Dar. And glitter- I’m really into glitter these days. It makes everyone feel like a star. Are you getting this, Dar? Why don’t you read me back your notes?

Daria: Okay. “What am I doing here? How am I going to get through this? Dear God, help me.”

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Quotes continued below…

Daria: Oh me, oh my. A lovely day is dawning. Oh, what a joy I didn’t wake up dead. So I can go to school and then resume my yawning, and get my sleep in class instead of in my bed.

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Quinn: I’m training to become a doctor so if Daddy has another heart attack, I’ll be here to save him.

Daria: Dr. Quinn, medicine moron.

Quinn: A heart doctor. If Dad died I would’ve been freaked out for, like, years.

Jake: That’s the spirit, sweetie. Avenge my death.

Daria: You’re not dying, dad.

Jake: Avenge me!

Helen: Jake, you’re gonna give yourself a- never mind….

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Quinn: Ugh! This is SO frustrating! Daria, have you ever read this book?

Daria: Thrombocytopenic Complications After Stent Placement Post-Coronary Artery Angioplasty . Maybe you should start off with something easier. Many coloring books feature hearts. And rainbows.

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Jane: You could try failing at being sarcastic.

Daria: (sarcastically) Yeah, like that’ll work.

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Tom: It is a stunning array of pod people. It’s times like these I’m glad I don’t go to your school.

Daria: Uh-huh. And I suppose your ivy-choked prep school is any better? Wait a minute. Was I just defending Lawndale?

Tom: You know, I think you were.

Daria: We never had this conversation.

Tom: What conversation?

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Quinn: But he’s supposed to pick us up at the mall.

Daria: He’s discussing that with the car right now. But the car seems to be saying you’re taking the bus.

Quinn : The what?

Daria: The bus. It’s like a bigger car, only with old men sleeping sitting up. At least I hope they’re sleeping.

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Daria: Relax. She’s in the bathroom, marveling at its many wonders.

Bobby: Cool. Hey, is Quinn, you know, seeing anyone?

Daria: Just a dermatologist for that rash.

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Daria: Do you think I complain a lot?

Tom: What are you bitching about now?

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Daria: Just for the record, the police don’t like it when you drive on the wrong side of the road.

Trent: Tell me about it.

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Jane: Anyway, it’s just another two weeks and then we’ll be back at school! Wait…. what’s my point?

Daria: That life sucks no matter what, so don’t be fooled by location changes.

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Daria: I’m not much for public speaking, or much for speaking, or come to think of it, much for the public. And I’m not very good at lying. So let me just say that, in my experience, high school sucks. If I could do it all over again, I’d have started advanced placement classes in preschool so I could go from 8th grade straight to college. However, given the unalterable fact that high school sucks, I’d like to add that if you’re lucky enough to have a good friend and a family that cares, then it doesn’t have to suck quite as much. Otherwise, my advice is stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked. The truth and the lie are not “sort of” the same thing. And there’s no aspect, no facet, no moment in life that can’t be improved with pizza. Thank you.