Ten Tips on Dealing with Infidelity

No man or woman ever wants to experience this very hurtful behavior in their marriage, but unfortunately it does happen. So how should you deal with the ordeal if it happens to you?

1. First and foremost, it is not your fault, no matter how much you think it is. The decision for your spouse or mate to cheat was theirs and it doesn’t matter if you were perfect in every aspect of your relationship, they still would have had an affair.
2. Don’t dwell on the other person. Spending time thinking about the other man or woman is only going to drive you crazy. You spend all day seeing the other person with your spouse or partner. Picturing them out in public and in bed together is not uncommon but getting hypnotherapy can help stop these visions. People who are willing to have a relationship with married men or women have their own issues. Just remember there is nothing wrong with you. Your spouse may find everything about you as his or her excuse but none of this was about you.
3. If you want your marriage, you have to learn to forgive. I can’t say you will forget about the affair any time soon, because nine times out of ten you won’t, but forgiveness is a must. The thoughts of the affair are devastating and can take up to a year or two to stop thinking about. If you can not forgive the other person for hurting you, then your relationship will suffer even more.
4. Stop playing detective and trying to find out about the whole affair. It will just keep hurting you more every time you find out more information. You will never get an honest answer about what really happened. You either have to accept it and move on or you will drive yourself crazy in the process. She or he apparently has no value of themselves if they have to be with someone that is already taken.
5. Get counseling even if you have to go alone. You need to feel better about yourself because after all this is about you. You need to gain your confidence back and know that you were not the reason this happened.
6. Don’t let your spouse make you feel less then you are. They are the ones with the problem not you. They are the ones that need justification from someone else to prove their manhood or womanhood.
7. If it continues then you need to move on. I don’t believe that once a cheater is always a cheater. These things vary from each individual. Behaviors can change! Most men or women feel embarrassed when they are caught.
8. Do not try to pay them back by having an affair of your own. This is not the time to be vengeful even though you are hurting badly. Getting even is not the answer you are seeking here. Healing yourself is the answer you are looking for.
9. Time heals all wounds and even though you don’t think it will right now, it does. Time has a way of healing the worst hurt in your life.
10. If you believe in a higher power, then turn it over to him.

This is something that is very painful for most women. Being cold hearted and vengeful is not the way to solve the problem. The other person is not to blame either because ultimately it was your spouses choice to cheat. Women and men only know what their spouse tells them and most of the time in the beginning they will not admit to being married or being involved with someone.

Time will heal your heart and mind and there is no reason your marriage cannot be saved unless either party decides that it is best. The grass is never greener on the other side and they will find that out. Everyone is good in the beginning to impress the one they want, but then they get lazy and your spouse will learn the hard way that you were the best thing that ever happened to them.

I don’t know that counseling is the answer but it can’t hurt. If your spouse does not want to go then go by yourself. Finding peace in your heart is the best thing one can do for themselves.