Sympathy Cards Etiquette

Sympathy Cards are a thoughtful way to express your concern when someone has experienced a loss. Thoughtful and easily shared, consider these points of etiquette when expressing your sympathy.

Keep it simple. There is no need to write a lengthy note on your card. A simple message that lets someone know you are there for them in their time of sorrow is best. Keep it as simple as possible. Consider these appropriate messages:

I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my thoughts during this difficult time.

Please accept my condolences. My thoughts are with you.

I send my sympathies to you during this difficult time.

Identify yourself. Often extended family members may share incoming cards of sympathy. Include your first and last name as cards may get separated from their mailing envelopes. You may know the deceased but the family may not know you. It may be wise to include a simple line that says how you know the deceased.

Nice memory. This would be a perfect time to add a special thought or memory to your card. Family members will enjoy reading something that shares a special remembrance or happy memory you may have experienced with the deceased.

Feelings. Everyone grieves differently so do your best to avoid sharing your experiences. You may think you are being helpful but it is best to avoid the issue entirely. Do not proclaim to know how they feel. And never suggest the deceased is now better off!

Timing. Mail sympathy cards just as soon as you hear of the death. You may want to deliver it in person but often the mourning family may be in no position to accept company and although well intentioned, mailing condolence cards is the most thoughtful way to share your concerns immediately. Even if you hear of the death much after the fact, bereavement cards are always welcomed.

Cultural concerns. Unless you know the decreased well it may not be appropriate to include mention of prayers or God if you are not familiar with their religious preferences. Avoid specifics and just keep your message simple and heartfelt.

Professional losses. In business there can be instances of loss within the company or client base or within each of their personal lives. It is always appropriate to extend your sympathetic concerns and corporate sympathy cards are a professional way to do this. Follow the points of etiquette mentioned above and send business sympathy cards to all of those you know who have experienced a loss. Your heartfelt compassion will be warmly received.

Many do not send sympathy cards simply because they do not know what to say on them. It should be noted that it is not necessarily what you say, as just the act of sending such a card says you are thoughtful and caring. Signing your name to a pre-versed card may be enough to let those important to you know that you are thinking of them during their time of sorrow.