Randy and Paula White Divorce: Something Doesn’t Add Up

The news of Paula and Randy White’s decision to divorce came as a painful shock to me, as to many other Christians.

While I did not always have use for some aspects of Paula White’s preaching ministry, I enjoyed her half-hour TV show Paula White Today and often listened to it via an Internet feed. I learnt a lot from her teaching and I even once bought a CD with one of her sermons, which she was offering along with a book by an author that I admired. So hearing of the divorce plans left me stunned.

Even more shocking to me than the news of the divorce, however, was the explanation given for the split. For Christians of the Pentecostal movement, citing “two lives going in different directions” as the justification for divorce is incomprehensible. It sounds as wrongheaded as someone blowing off the most important opportunity of their lives for a flimsy excuse like rainy weather. If the two of them are running their lives and their ministries under the authority and direction of the Holy Spirit, I do not understand how the marriage has reached the point where they feel there is no option but to go their separate ways.

Jesus, speaking about marriage, proclaimed: “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:6, NKJV). Where, under this clear declaration, is there room for a couple to call it quits because their lives seem to be moving away from each other? When challenged by the Pharisees about how Moses permitted divorce, Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries antoher woman commits adultery.” Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.(Matthew 19:8-9, NKJV)

Nowhere does the Bible sanction divorce for the mere reason of “lives moving in different directions”. It does happen often in a marriage that the spouses become very busy, working hard on projects which, in themselves, may be worthwhile and good. They can indeed lose touch with each other and of the reasons why they chose to be together. But if a couple finds themselves drifting apart because of separate pursuits, shouldn’t the solution be to prioritise their relationship? No project, no work, no ministry deserves to be pursued at the expense of one’s marriage.

Something simply does not add up in this story. The reasons cited for the divorce have no Scriptural grounds. For two ministers of the Word to declare such an unscriptural course of action is disturbing.

I am not calling for the couple to air all their dirty laundry in public. I do not want the nasty details. I realise that this must be a very painful time for them and their family, and they probably want to keep their private lives private.

But I believe the Whites have a responsibility to those who look up to them as spiritual leaders. They need to uphold the Word of God in their actions. I hope that they will show that they do not take divorce as lightly as popular culture, where the thinking is that a couple only stays married until it becomes inconvenient or unpleasant, after which they are free to move on. There are many bewildered, hurt and disappointed members and supporters of their church and ministries who need an explanation that demonstrates that these leaders are living their lives according to Biblical principles.

If there are true Scriptural grounds for divorce, it needs to be said. And if there are not any, then this divorce should not be happening and the Whites need to put their marriage back together, whatever the cost.

The news about the impending divorce is sobering. It reminds me that all Christians, even those with highly successful ministries, are susceptible to error. It reminds me yet again that our only plumbline for what is right and wrong should be the Bible. And it reminds me that I need to continually make my relationship with my husband my top priority, second only to my relationship with God.