There are some days that I feel like I’ve lost something.
Perhaps I might have misplaced it…
But in the end,
it turned out that
it was something that I never even had.
Not for long anyhow.
It was there...
for a small time anyhow…
not even a minute.
Just a few seconds.
There’s times it gets handed to me,
Just enough time for me to hold it,
So I can get a chance to see what it feels like,
or what I might have missed.
Just enough time to touch my heart,
but not get completely attached.
And then it’s taken away.
I get angry sometimes,
Because it’s not fair…
Why don’t I get a chance to experience
this part of life?
Why do I only get to hold it for a short time,
Just long enough to feel it so it can be taken away?
In the end,
I guess you can say it’s made me stronger…
It’s made me think twice before trusting people.
But it’s also made me afraid to open up.
I’m like one of those books
with some of the pages stuck together,
hard to open at times.
Sometimes, I want it so bad,
And I attempt to go after it anyway…
And I forget how it hurts
when it’s gone again.
I want it to be a part of my life so bad…
But if I don’t protect myself,
I get hurt…
I pray to God every night…
What is it that I have to learn?
Sometimes, I wonder,
if this missing piece is some form of punishment.
Did I do something to deserve this?
There’s still so many lessons that I need to learn.
All throughout my life,
a part of me was always missing…
Like I wasn’t complete,
and I was missing out.
It’s been hard growing up,
and Lord knows, I’ve tried to forgive.
Forgiveness is an important part of life-
especially if you want to live in eternal glory.
And I reach out again and again…
But sometimes, my arms just aren’t long enough.
I pray for strength, courage and the heart to forgive.
And for the thing I’m missing,
I pray for its redemption.
I continue to live my life
Loving those who are around me
and can share their love back.
I thank God that I have them…
their love is almost enough to complete
that missing void…
But then I am reminded again,
because I am handed a light
glimmer of hope.
I feel like a young child sometimes…
Moments that I should have had
were taken away.
That piece of the puzzle got bent and creased,
before it was completely lost.
a little piece of me wishes,
that I could have that missing piece.
And my life would be complete.
I wouldn’t have so many questions.
Maybe one day,
I will find out
how or why it disappeared.
Only God knows…
And one day,
he will tell me.
I’ll be complete.