Whether it’s Aprils Fools Day, or anytime of the year, everyone loves a good joke with poop. Here are some of my favorites.
Flaming Poop ~
No list of poop jokes would be complete without the flaming bag. This classic poop joke involves filling a paper lunch sack with poop, and setting it afire on your unsuspecting victim’s doorstep. You can use human poop or animal poop. Be sure to twist the top of the bag to form a pointy wick. Creep quietly to your intended victim’s door; light the top of the bag on fire, and then ring the door bell and run to hide where you can watch the fun.
Most people will instinctively try to put out a small fire with whatever implements are conveniently nearby. When your target opens the door and see the flaming bag, chances are they are going to try to stomp on it to put out the flames. And when they do their shoe will be covered in poop.
Pool Poop ~
If you are looking for a good practical joke to play on someone who has a swimming pool, you may enjoy the classic pool poop. You can use actual poop or you can use Baby Ruth candy bars; (they’ve got the perfect lumpy texture and they float!). Toss a few in the pool and wait for them to be noticed.
This is a great trick to do at a party when there are a lot of people around. Once they are noticed, be sure to volunteer to help fish them out. There is usually a pool sieve or a net handy for pulling debris out of the pool. Scoop out your fake poop, (if you used the candy bar as poop). Then, as you lean over to inspect what you have caught in the net, casually reach down and say, ‘Oh this doesn’t look so bad!’, and bite off a piece. Unsuspecting observers will believe that you have just taken a big mouthful of actual poop. It will take a moment for it to register with people that it was really just a candy bar.
Toilet Seat Wrap ~
The toilet seat wrap depends on the target of your practical joke being the one to supply the poop. It is the sort of thing you might want to play on a roommate that you are not getting along with very well. After your roommate has gone to sleep, open both the lid and the seat of the toilet and stretch clear plastic wrap across the bowl as tightly as you can. When it is stretched very tight it will be completely see-through. Then lower the lid and wait.
The next time your roommate goes in for that middle of the night poop it won’t have any where to go, because it will get caught on the plastic. He won’t see it when he goes to sit down, but he will feel it when it starts to spread smashed up against his bare bottom.
Fake Poop ~
Fake poop comes in much more realistic versions now than those old back of the comic book mail away offers. It also comes in many different varieties. There is grown up poop, baby poop, dog poop, cow patty poop and more. Choose your fake poop to make it appropriate for the occasion. For instance, dog poop would look strange in your house and be immediately suspect if you don’t have a dog.
Fake poop is especially funny in situations where you would never ever, ever expect to find poop; for instance, in the office. Some of the newer models of fake poop are even mildly microwavable; meaning that you can literally leave a ‘steaming pile’ on the desk of the co-worker you like least.
The Poop Pen ~
There is actually a website that sells a poop-shaped pen. Each one is said to be completely unique and they are very, very realistic. This is the perfect pen for your desk at work; especially if you are the sort of person who ideally tucks the end of the pen in your mouth while thinking of what to write next. Also, it nearly guarantees will stop stealing your pens.
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