This is the most frustrating, heartbreaking condition a woman can ever endure. It causes all sorts of stress, sadness and withdrawal to many. It’s worse if you have painful menstruation (Dysmenorrheal) every month; you keep on asking yourself why I have to go through this pain if I’m not going to have a baby to show for it. And you wait every month to see changes but the same pain comes.
As a woman you are expected to have babies by your friends, family, your in-laws and your husband. There are other women who were not meant to have children but that is not normal according to our society and our own psychology. A woman is a child bearer. So this is the main part that causes depression and frustration to the one who can’t bear kids. As you grow old yourself knowing there is no child in your life to call yours and people are asking you in your everyday life why you have no kids. You get frustrated and angry at yourself, God and your own mother. You eventually cannot take the pressure anymore.
Sometimes you take it out to the people around you especially your husband. You become withdrawn from crowd and love because you believe if you are not involved it will feel better but it just gets worse because you start to ask yourself what’s wrong with me? Why am I different? Then you cry and cry not knowing what to do. You’ve seen hundred gynecologists with their false promises and you’ve had enough. You just need to accept that the doctors can’t help you but you still have this little voice in your head that says one day you will have a baby. You still cry because you are getting old and your friends even have grandchildren.
What do you do to avoid the heartbreak and depression? You can keep yourself busy with a career or activities that can detach your mind from thinking about a baby. You could also develop a hobby to keep you away from thinking too much.
You may also choose to get involved with a charity where there are orphaned children. Spend some time with them and eventually you may become interested in adopting one of the kids and give them the parental love that they would otherwise growth without. It is not only a child from your womb who needs a mother’s love. Even a strange child could be loved and cherished just as your own, and sometimes the bond can be substantially strong as it is based on a solid foundation of friendship. It was “not your baby” as such; it was first just “your friend”. You handled him/her with respect as you did not feel entitled to him/her. The friendship then later developed into something really fulfilling, as this little person becomes your baby and ultimately your child.
Give advice and counseling to other mothers who have the same problem as you. It is a very good therapy because it gives you a chance to talk and hear what other women are going through. Make friends with people who are not judgmental or critical of your situation. Join a group so that you can share ideas and collaborate with others on any common views you may possess. Take relaxation or meditation classes to help you relax your mind. An overloaded mind can be suicidal. When people ask you about the baby or why you don’t have one at your age, don’t get angry with them. Tell them it’s not time yet or you are one of the lucky people on earth who do not have to share their salary with a bunch of kids. Make up a positive story and believe it, then stick to it.
Be happy with what you got, do a list of things you have that you think are a desirable achievement. At your counseling group enquire about other members. Compare their list with yours and see how much you have which they may not possess.
If you are married spend as much time with your husband as you did when you were still dating. Remember loving each other in the first place was about the two of you. Now if you let a third person to interfere into your life, you will never make it. You need each other more than ever. Do not play blame games. Sit down with your in-laws and explain how you feel about their remarks and how you feel about their son. Show them that your love is strong enough to take anything that God has in store for you.
Look after yourself, keep clean and healthily. Be proud of yourself and don’t stop loving.
Remember kids are from God. Instead of asking yourself why me; ask yourself why not me. Ask God to show you the way to cope and to overcome the pain and the frustration. And ask Him to deliver you to your true calling behind all this. And remember everything happens for a reason.
At the start of his professional career Mr. Chester Adgate Congdon was a school teacher…
The lifetime of a floor goes through repairs, reuse and general upkeep that will require…
A killer advertising portfolio is one that gets you the job or the freelance assignments…
Celebration Community Church in Fort Worth, TX celebrated 15 years of service Jan. 18th with…
A crowded living room is difficult to clean, is difficult to maneuver in, and most…
When I was pregnant with my son, I used to spend hours at toy stores…
This website uses cookies.