Categories: Television

Funniest Quotes from “Bones”

“Bones” airs Thursday nights at 8 PM EST on Fox. Starring Emily Deschanel, as Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan, and David Boreanaz as Seeley Booth, the show is currently in its 5th season. Over the past five years, many funny things have been said by all the characters.

Whenever Temperance is approached with a pop culture reference, a metaphor or a simile she doesn’t understand–she’s very literal–she responds with, “I don’t know what that means.”

In a recent episode from this season, Bones and Booth visit a night club to investigate a murder. When Bones sees two people dancing heavily on each other, she tells Booth “That act suggests those two are about to mate….”

Temperance hates that Booth calls her “Bones” because of her professional as a forensic anthropologist. In many episodes, she asserts, “Don’t call me Bones!”

Booth: “You’re a smart ass, you know that?”
Bones: “Objectively, I’d say that I’m very smart, although it has nothing to do with my ass.”

Booth: “So, is it him?”
Brennan: “It’s him, but here’s the kickster.”
Booth: “Kicker, Bones, here’s the kicker.”
Brennan: “Oh.”

Bones: “Why would a gang leader cooperate?”
Booth: “I’m gonna ask him really, really nicely, Bones.”
Bones: “You know that book I’m reading about getting along with your co-workers? It says that sarcasm is never helpful. I can lend it to you if you want.”

Angela: “I wouldn’t bet a date with Colin Farrell on it”
Bones: “I know him, he’s funny.”
Angela: “Funny is Will Ferrell, sweetie. Hot is Colin Farrell”

“My most meaningful relationships are with dead people.” -Temperance

Booth: “Reason for wanting a gun?”
Bones: “To shoot people.”
Booth: “Not a good response.”
Bones: “It’s the truth!”
Booth: “You know, I’m writing self defense in the performance of my duties pursuing suspected felons as contracted out to the FBI…”
Bones: “…so I can shoot them.”

Angela: “So, no ring, single or, gay?”
FBI Agent: “Gay- why did you say gay?”
Angela: “Brokeback baby, gotta ask…”

When looking for a friend, Angela: “We’re about 100 miles from where Jesus lost his sandals.”

Cam: “Nope. Hodgins also found Oxidized iron in the scratches.”
Booth: “Oxidized iron. What’s that?”
Brennan & Cam: “Rust.”
Booth: “Why didn’t you just say rust?”
Brennan: “What? She said it.”

Bones: “Why is Booth the one to decide we go to Washington state? He gets a gun and the authority. He’s the one that people like.”
Goodman: “Firstly, he did not decided that you go to Washington State. He made a request. I am the one who decides where you do or do not go.”
Bones: “And secondly?”
Goodman: “Secondly, it’s time to live a little, Temperance, connect with other people.”
Bones: “Are you suggesting I take this opportunity to have sex with Booth on a field trip?”
Goodman: “Good God. Where is Dr. Freud when you need him?”
Bones: “I don’t understand what your saying.”
Goodman: “Which is precisely why I’m sending you to the great north woods. Come on now you have partially digested dismembered skeletal remains to examine. That should put a smile on your face… the mosquitoes out there are the size of dogs. Bring insect repellent.”