Friday the 13th Movie Collection – Bring Jason Home to Your House

JASON VOORHEES: FROM CRYSTAL LAKE TO MANHATTAN

(Ki ki ki ma ma ma) These six little half words may not have the same effect on paper that it has in a darkened movie theater, but to horror fans ears it means only one thing: JASON VOORHEES is on the way. Who is Jason Voorhees you may ask? Well kids, let me introduce you. He has single-handedly (with the help of a few choice weapons) killed more people than any serial killer in movie history. (Don’t quote me on that – 102 so far, give or take a couple). His home away from home, besides the grave, is Camp Crystal Lake where he drowned at summer camp when he was a child. The counselors were too busy cavorting sexually to keep an eye on the boy according to his mother and various others who have woven the tale. So much for the serious stuff.

Let’s have some fun. Jason is the axe wielding, machete carrying maniac who chops and dices teenagers at will who are dumb enough to go back to Camp Crystal Lake on camping trips, trying to re-open the summer camp, or, they just plain get lost in the woods. Kids, some advice, stay home and watch TV or play your play station. You just might survive the summer.

Lesson 1 to teenagers: Don’t go to Crystal Lake and have sex in the woods or cabins.
Lesson 2 to teenagers: Don’t go to Crystal Lake and have sex in the woods or cabins.
Lesson 3 to teenagers: Don’t go to Crystal Lake and have sex in the woods or cabins.

If you don’t heed these warnings…well, you get what you deserve and you’re screwed. Lesson 4 just as a postscript: If you find yourself being chased by Jason, don’t fall down, don’t look back while your running; if you think you’ve killed him, don’t check; don’t put the weapons down; if you’re female keep your clothes on. Don’t take a shower, don’t go to the bathroom; don’t go skinny dipping at midnight with your boyfriend, the guy you think is cute or the nerd you feel sorry for. THEY CAN’T HELP YOU. YOU ARE GOING TO DIE! Remember, ki ki ki ma ma ma ?

Jason from all appearances seems to be human. Accept for the fact that you can’t kill the dude. He’s like some aging rock bands, they just don’t go away. In the first 8 FRIDAY THE 13TH movies alone, Voorhees has been stabbed with a pitchfork while falling from the 2nd floor loft of the barn: a machete to the head which stayed in, I might add (maybe that’s where he got the idea from): been chopped up by a young Tommy Jarvis (played by Corey Feldman in PART 4 – THE FINAL CHAPTER): blown up, drowned gain: and so on, and on, and on. You get the idea. But what’s so endearing about Jason and the FRIDAY THE 13th series of films is, are you ready, they’re so over the top that they’re actually fun to watch. The series also appeals to Hollywood. Not just as a money making machine but actors have enjoyed being part of Jason’s prey. Veteran actress Betsy Palmer is mama Voorhees the first installment. Who by the way is the actual killer in the first film.

I don’t want to give too much of the plot lines away, mainly because there really isn’t one. Kevin Bacon also appeared in the original and made an endearingly stunning exit. I didn’t know someone could bleed that much. Tom Savini, horror make-up and demi-God guru (caught the eye of producers after his original DAWN OF THE DEAD) was the genius behind the special effects of the original and returned for PART 4: THE FINAL CHAPTER. Shock Rock pioneer Alice Cooper was commissioned to write and record 3 songs for JASON LIVES: PART 6 and subsequently played his song ‘He’s Back (The Man Behind The Mask) in concert. Jason did appear at a few of Alice’s shows on the concert tour. I was there, I know.

Paramount Pictures is showing you, the buying public, no mercy with their DVD box set release FRIDAY THE 13TH: FROM CRYSTAL LAKE TO MANHATTAN – ULTIMATE EDITION DD COLLECTION (PRT0523334DVD). This incredible set contains the first 8 FRIDAY THE 13TH FILMS on 5 discs.
FRIDAY THE 13TH
FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART 2
FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART 3
FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER (PART 4)
FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART V – A NEW BEGINNING
FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART VI – JASON LIVES
FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART VII – THE NEW BLOOD
FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART VIII – JASON TAKES MANHATTAN

Plus an extra disc ‘KILLER EXTRAS’ featuring over 10 hours of Bloody Bonus Materials and deleted scenes. The movies themselves are 2 films to a disc. You can jump around to your favorite kill and various other little ditties that make DVD’s so much fun. Admittedly, FRIDAY THE 13TH and other films in the slasher genre are not for everyone and certainly not everyone’s taste. But if you want to leave a lasting impression on a horror fan, what a better gift than one that gets keeps killing and killing and killing.

Oh and for the writer’s of these films, I have a suggestion: next time Jason gets chopped to bits or blown up, or pulled down into hell by Freddy Krueger (thanks for resurrecting him Fred) well, before he gets pulled down into hell, put him in a meat grinder or blender. Possibly, just possibly, his body won’t morph back together to kill again. But then again – ki ki ki ma ma ma ……..