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Excuses that Will Get You Out of Anything

Hooky

Need an excuse to get out of something? That’s okay, I’m not here to judge. We all need a few days off every once in a while. The only bad thing about skipping work or school is the questions that follow after. If you’re wondering how to get around this, worry no more. Just use any of the ten excuses below. They work for every situation imaginable and will insure that there are no questions asked about your hooky day.

The first excuse to get out of anything: It Broke!
It doesn’t matter what is is, claim it’s broken. If you need an excuse for getting out a college paper, say that your computer broke. If you could use the schools computer, say it was your flash drive that stopped working, or the printer. If you’re looking to get out of work, maybe your car broke down, or the bus you use to get there. Whatever you need to get the task done, it just happened to break this morning.

The second excuse to get out of anything: Diarrhea
This is an embarrassing, yet believable excuse. You’re not going to be much use at school or work if you’re having to run to that bathroom every two minutes. It also won’t be very enjoyable for those around you. Since it’s so embarrassing, no one will bother asking any questions.

The third excuse to get out of anything: Lice/Bed bugs
Another great excuse to use is that you have lice or bed bugs. Either of them spread remarkably quickly and are nearly impossible to get rid of. If you claim to have lice, say that you need to stay home and take care of your clothes and bedding. If you’re using bed bugs as an excuse, say you have to stay home to let the exterminators in. If your boss acts like it’s no big deal, try linking them to this article on how bed bugs can take over the world. It’s some pretty scary stuff, and I know I wouldn’t want to risk catching them from anyone.

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The fourth excuse to get out of anything: Womanly Issues
This is a wonderful excuse to use on males. No guy wants to hear about how heavy you’re bleeding, so they likely won’t ask any questions. If you’re using the excuse on a female, just tell them that you’re having really bad cramps. They’ll probably be understanding and won’t have a problem with you missing a day or two.

The fifth excuse to get out of anything: I Lost My Shoes!
This may seem like a silly excuse, but if you have pets or children, you know how easily a shoe can be lost. You can’t go out anywhere without it. This excuse can also be used more than once, but it’s best not to do it too often or people will start getting suspicious.

The sixth excuse to get out of anything: Food Poisoning
Food poisoning is a great excuse to use if you want more than one day off. It makes you feel so horrible you’ll be lucky to drag yourself out of bed. If you’re feeling that awful, you won’t be any use anywhere else but at home.

The seventh excuse to get out of anything: Lawyer
Saying that you have to meet with a lawyer is another great excuse to get you out of any situation. If anyone asks why you’re meeting with one, you can say that it’s personal. Most people will drop it, but even if they don’t, simply say that you’re not sure if you’re suppose to discuss it yet. Perhaps you witnessed a crime and you’re having to speak to a lawyer about it. No one can argue with that.

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The eighth excuse to get out ofanything: Labor
Some people like to use the death of a relative as an excuse to get out of things, but that never seemed right to me. Instead of killing off a family member, why not just create a new one? Claim that some close to you went into labor. Maybe it was your cousin or aunt. You were the only one able to drive them because their husband was off on a business trip.

The ninth excuse to get out of anything: Neighbors
Use your neighbor as an excuse. Maybe their home caught on fire and your house was also slightly damaged. Maybe someone tried to rob them last night and the police want to ask you if you saw anything. Perhaps they parked their car in such a way where you can’t back out now. The possibilities here are endless, and best of all, it’s not your fault!

The tenth excuse to get out of anything: Septic Tank
Septic tanks can overflow very quickly, and unfortunately for you, that’s what happened last night. Now there’s raw sewage all of your lawn and your neighbor is threatening to call the health department if you don’t get it cleaned up today. Waiting around for someone to come and fix it can take ages… I guess you won’t be able to work today.

Anyone of these excuses can be used to get out of any situation. The trick is to never use them often enough that people get suspicious. By rotating the excuse, you’re more likely to seem believable and less likely to get in trouble.