Does Eliot Spitzer’s Wife Silda Wall Spitzer Condone Prostitution

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer took the podium on Monday to apologize to the American People for his inappropriate sexual conquests with prostitutes, his wife Silda Spitzer at his side.

While her husband, New York village idiot, Eliot Spitzer, spoke of healing himself and his family she looked on with nary a word. Her silence has shocked many people causing theories to be thrown here and there, willy-nilly to the wind. Now, I offer you a few of my own theories on why this woman would remain silent.

Theory #1

We’ve seen wives of politicians at the podium before. They’ve become an armband accessory of wholesomeness in these cases, dangled like a $2 bracelet in front of the public to show how a cheating man really just loves his wife – and his whore.

Silda Spitzer joined the ranks of other wife-accessories when she chose to stand silently by her man in front of the nation. And if there’s one thing these wife-accessories get out of being dangled on some man’s arm is power. And the right to make him pay for what he did.

Perhaps Silda Spitzer decided to let the American Public see her on camera while Mr. Spitzer apologized because she knows that when the cameras are turned off she becomes the boss.

Were Silda Spitzer to divorce Eliot Spitzer over his prostitution scandal I’m sure she would have no problem getting everything she asks for. She knows it and Eliot Spitzer knows it and the United States knows it. As Eddie Murphy once said, “I want half!

Having this weapon in her hands she now has the power to call the shots. I imagine her pulling rank and saying, “I need tampons, go get them. Spitzer get me some kool-aid, now! Carry my purse you lousy cheating dog. Give me ten thousand dollars for a new boob job, now!”

And I imagine him doing it.

Theory #2

There are some marriages in the world that include and welcome outsiders in the bedroom. We most commonly refer to them as swingers, although there are other groups couples such as this could potentially fall into.

Maybe Eliot and Silda Spitzer are closet swingers. It could be that this is one method they used to find a willing 3^rd party. I mean have you looked at Eliot and Silda Spitzer? I imagine it would be difficult to find a young sexy playmate looking like that.

It might be that the Spitzer’s had a conversation in which Silda recommended they search for hookers online. Then Mr. Spitzer found a place he thought was reputable, got himself a prostitute and brought her home to meet the Mrs. the night before Valentine’s Day.

Perhaps Silda is keeping her mouth shut because she’d rather let him take the fall for hooking up with a ho than getting herself involved in the mess too. If she went down with her husband, who’d take care of the kids?

Theory #3

On the opposite end of the spectrum from swingers are those that don’t like or can’t have sex. In the Spitzer situation it is very possible that Silda Spitzer has medical problems resulting in her inability to have sex or even like it.

I know of one couple in a situation like this where the wife has given the husband permission to have sex with other women. This keeps him from bothering her with it and gives her relief that his needs are being met. While this lifestyle makes me shake my head, it is not my place to judge them for it, so I say nothing.

We aren’t privy to Silda Spitzer’s medical or sexual information. We don’t know whether or not this is the case but it certainly is one possibility. Perhaps Silda gave Eliot permission to purchase prostitutes out of the goodness of her heart.

Of course I can think of a few other theories but there is only so much paper in the world and even less patient internet readers. Until Silda Spritzer writes a book or appears on Oprah we may never know why she didn’t throw a “Oh No you didn’t!” hissy fit over this scandal but I’m sure the American People will continue to wonder why she stands quietly by her man for quite some time.