Anger, Depression, Hatred, Self-Loathing and Fear: Unexplained and Unwanted Feelings

Feelings. Everyone has them. You, your mother, your neighbor down the street, even that criminal who stole $50,000 from the bank downtown. But what are feelings? How do we associate them to our lifestyle? Why are they so important? Many of us have felt a combination of the most common feelings. We have been angry, sad, frustrated. We have been depressed, worried too often, had unexplained and uncontrolled fears. We have hated ourselves a time or too, and hated the person who ran us off the road because they were in a hurry to get to some place.

The fact is, feelings are not going to go away on their own. Feelings are extremely important to our self-being, and without them we might as well consider ourselves robots. Feelings are produced by chemicals in the brain which in turn can cause us to feel various emotions. However, what most people don’t come to realize is that certain factors attribute to these feelings. For example:

Genetics are one factor. Genetics make up a lot about you, not only your physical image, but your behavior and attitude as well.

Food. Yes, food can cause you to feel a certain way. Too much of one thing is bad for you. Certain foods also do not break down quickly enough into the energy we need to sustain ourselves for the day ahead. These foods can cause us to feel lethargic, and feeling lethargic can cause us to feel irritated, impatient, and stressed.

Certain feelings are also brought on by hormones. Yes, you read correctly. Adolescents are more likely to feel stressed, enraged, overexcited than adults. Why? Because their body is changing from that of a child into an adult. Hormones change several times, retrieving chemical reactions from the brain to ‘tell’ the hormones to behave in a certain way. As a result, these hormones flair up and misbehave.

Uncontrolled feelings can also be brought on by a chemical imbalance in the brain. These chemicals, when not addressed correctly, can cause difficulty for you, your family, your friends, even the cat you own. There are many people who have a chemical imbalance and sadly do not know about it.

But should we fear these unexplained and out of controlled feelings? The answer is no. Fearing will not help one to determine where they stand with themselves.

First, you need to determine why you feel the way you do. Once you have established a cause, you need to decide what you are going to do about it. Are you going to ignore it? Are you going to accept it and move on with life? Are you considering ‘ending it all’? Or will you simply medicate yourself with drugs?

Chances are you have thought about one or more of these choices. But let’s stop and take a moment to reflect on what these choices can bring.

Ignoring it will not make it go away. In fact, it will make it worse. There may come a time when simply being shoved from someone will aggravate you. Yet, you move on and decide to ignore it. Later on down the road, someone hits you. Now you’re full blown angry and want to maim the person. Why? Think back to the time you were shoved by that first person. Because you ignored it, you allowed yourself the opportunity to build up pressure.

So what am I saying here? First, when your feelings are getting the better of you, sit down and talk it out with someone who will listen. This can be a parent, friend, your neighbor, your church, even a pet. You can even talk about it on certain community forms. Talking is one way of getting it off your chest.

Second, plan a course of action. What would you like to do to help keep your feelings under controlled? Decide that you are the controller of your body, not your feelings. When you allow your feelings to run amok, they take control over you, and in general, can cause other people around you to feel the same way you do. Passed on feelings are like a chain. When one person feels it, and takes it out on another, that second person feels it, and so on. This is why it is crucial to get your feelings under control. And there are things you can do without the usage of drugs, alcohol, or crime. These include: A favorite activity you enjoy, or taking on a new activity, a relaxing time under a hot shower, or in the tub. Drinking hot herbal tea, such as peppermint tea can help. Being creative is another. Spending a few minutes alone, to think about why you feel the way you do is a big help. Meditation is another. Some people vent their frustration by wrestling. Whenever I feel frustrated and upset, my wolf hybrid and I will wrestle, which is a big help to me. There are many positive things you can do to help yourself. Some people listen to certain types of music. Classical music is known to calm the raging soul. Long walks through nature is another. Writing, drawing, talking to people have been known to help too.

How long will it be before I have my uncontrolled feelings under control? That depends on you. For some people, it can take as many as several years. For others, it takes only a few weeks to several months. Some people pray to get their feelings under controlled. I did this, and even managed to come up with a basic action plan to help control them.

Determination is the key. You have to want it. You have to believe that you can do it. Have confidence in yourself that you are the controller of yourself; your body, mind, spirit. Feelings are necessary to have, but you don’t have to let them make you do or say things you will regret. You do not have to feel angry any more. You do not need to be depressed. You do not need to fear taking a stroll downtown because you believe you will get hurt. Take control of yourself and live onward.