Being a guy and a huge movie fan, I appreciate a no nonsense actioneer from time to time. Now I’m not saying this list is made up of all great movies. Three flicks on my list are great and well made, the other two are average to good. However, with that said, after viewing these movies most guys think to themselves Damn!, it’s good to be a MAN. A great macho movie requires a great lead, a great villain, at least two memorable lines, and usually explosions or fire of some kind. So here we go….
Coming in at #5 is Die Hard. This movie rocked from A to Z. John McClane out manned and out gunned turned the tables on Eurotrash led terrorist/thieves. Nobody plays overwhelmed and out of his element better than Bruce Willis. Hans Gruber was calculating cool as the head baddie. Not only did this movie deliver the goods on the action front, but the story held your attention. Director John Mctiernan knows how to stage action and the batteries were charged to full in this non-stop, in your face action pic. Just a few highlights, the knockdown drag outfight with Karl (Alexander Godunov), McClane’s fire-hose escape from rooftop, and the pathetic SWAT attempt to enter Nakatomi building. Yippee kye yea melon farmer!!
Coming in at #4 is the meanest scifi movie ever Aliens. If you are thinking science fiction doesn’t count in action you must never have seen this James Cameron action beast. This movie redefined the adrenaline rush. It is the only movie on the list with a female lead. If you don’t think Ripley is not of the best characters in the lore of action movies then, my friend, this is a sad moment. She exudes more testosterone than most of today’s so called action movie heroes (Matt Damon’s Bourne not included). This movie had chills, great score (all about those military drums), and real antagonists in the aliens themselves. This movie sets you up and then drops you right into the firestorm. Once the mayhem starts it rarely lets go. Like the great Bill Paxton whines, “Why don’t you put her in charge?!!”
Dropping in at #3 is boxing icon Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV. You may be thinking how does this qualify as action? You must be joking. This movie has it all from maiming, death, revenge, and one killer soundtrack. The “action” is all in the boxing ring and the buildup to the Rock’s showdown with Teutonic Russian killing machine Ivan Drago is half the fun. The training montages bring out everybody’s inner Rocky. I know every time I watch it I think “I could do that”. Anyway delusions aside, this movie may be Stallone’s Citizen Kane. Actually it is far from the quality of Rocky 1 or 2, but who cares. We watch it and believe every time a near forty year old, 180 pound Rocky Balboa can defeat the 6 foot five, punches like granite, commie superman Ivan Drago.
Just missing the top spot and coming in at #4 is Gladiator. At it’s core a love story/revenge pic. But on the surface a blood soaked, mano y mano, slug fest. Like him or not, Russel Crowe embodies Maximus. He make traits such as loyalty and nobility seem effortlessly cool. The gladiator matches themselves are stunning if a bit polished. From the opening battle to Maximus’s final showdown with Commadus, this picture is thrill ride with many timeless themes such as allegiance, vengeance, and tragedy. It also won a little thing called an Academy Award for best pic. Are you not entertained!? Sorry couldn’t resist.
My pic for number one on the macho meter has to be Predator. Arnold is the quintessential alpha dog. His biceps actually get bigger in each scene. This action masterpiece has it all and lays it on thick. Everything about this bad boy screamed testosterone filled roller coaster (some cliches are needed). The firefights with the corn rowed alien baddie is just one highlight. Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura, how can you lose? The dialog between the super macho leads is entertaining. But this is Arnie’s show. This was the movie that really catapulted him as the bid dog of action movies of the late eighties and early nineties. His character Dutch is like a fusion of all great action heroes of the last 50 years from John Wayne to Rambo. When you talk about a “guy movie” this baby is the standard.
