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What Makes a Mother Unfit?

These days a lot of focus is put on fathers who are unfit to parent or that abandon their children. However, there are plenty of mothers who do the same. The criterion that determines whether they are unfit to take care of their children is that same for that of a man, in the legal sense. In the moral sense, it should be the same for both, but many people have a different set of criteria for mothers than they do for fathers. In addition, many people expect different things from parents. With that being said, the following criteria are the writer’s opinion on what determines that a mother is unfit.

Let us start with the obvious-abuse. An abusive mother is an unfit parent. She can be mentally or physically abusive. Either way, she should not be determined a fit parent if she is harming her children. A fit mother does not hit, a fit mother does not insult, and a fit mother is supportive and loving. She is not cruel, violent or sexual with her children. This is both moral and legal criteria.

Another thing that a mother can do that makes her unfit is a little more difficult to determine. In both the moral and legal arena, there are many gray areas. What I am talking about is neglect. Some mothers think it is okay to sit on a couch all day long, talking on the phone or watching television, while their kids take care of themselves. Other mothers think it is okay to entertain guests all day long without ever concerning themselves with their children. This leads to unfinished homework, unbrushed teeth, malnutrition, dirty laundry, unkempt hair and much more. Now, in most states it is only a mother’s obligation to see to a child’s very basic needs. In this case, my thinking is different from the law. A mother should do everything that she can do to appropriately discipline, feed, clean, teach, entertain and guide her children. If she is not doing these things, she is unfit. However, again, there are gray areas. If a mother is doing all that she is capable of, than she is not necessarily unfit.

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A mother can do many other things that, in my eyes, makes her unfit. She can have a string of bad relationships that take precedence over her children. She can make bad life choices, like taking drugs or refusing to work. All of these make a mother unfit. Of course, a mother can change her life for the better and redeem herself as a mother. Abuse, on the other hand, is unforgivable. Therefore, a child should never be given back to or allowed to stay with an abusive mother. Then again, if a mother has simply made some bad choices that have not harmed the child irreparably, and she can fix those things and take care of her children, she should be given the opportunity to. After all, children usually love their mothers, even if they are lazy, drug addicts.