While some parents have a tendency to overreact about their child’s health, well-being and education at school, others have legitimate complaints that need to be heard. Make sure that you have good reason for filing the complaint, then talk to your child about what he or she has experienced. You shouldn’t let your child’s feelings get in the way of protecting him or her, but it’s always good to have feedback. You have a responsibility to your child, so here’s how to file a formal complaint with your child’s school.
Investigate the Circumstances Before you march up to the school with a figuratively blazing torch in your hand, make sure that you have all the facts. If you’re operating solely on the testimony of your child, it might be a good idea to corroborate the story. Children often interpret events according to their own personal bias and age, so hearing the same thing from another parent or an administrator will help to strengthen your case. There are some instances in which you just have to go with your gut, but before you file a complaint with your child’s school, do everything you can to get all the facts straight.
Say Something Nice When you do approach a teacher or administrator with your complaint, try not to start out by tossing insults. Instead, say something complimentary to ease the tension, such as, “I really like the way you’ve been teaching fractions. Emily seems to be getting it better now.” This will help the recipient of your complaint to know that you aren’t just an enraged parent, but someone who is concerned and reasonable about the problem.
Focus on the Facts Most people — teachers and administrators included — will go on the defensive if you start raging and finger-pointing. Instead, stick to the facts as you know them and lay out the source of your complaint. Talk about what actually happened rather than your child’s interpretation of events and then explain why you find this to be a problem. Filing a complaint with your child’s school will go much smoother if you remain calm and objective throughout the entire meeting.
Use Rogerian Argument Rogerian Argument requires that you present both sides of the story on equal footing. While you obviously feel one way — and should express as much — you must also explain that you see the other side. For example, if you don’t like the way a teacher handled a fight between two students, explain that you know how frustrating and confusing it must have been. Say that you might have been unsure how to react in the same circumstance, but that you wish it had been handled differently. This demonstrates that you can see both sides of the story, which makes your complaint a little less harsh.
Present Possible Solutions If you file a complaint with your child’s school and simply demand that something be done about it, you won’t be taken very seriously. Instead, come to the meeting prepared with a list of possible solutions. Concede that there might be better solutions available, but that you are hoping a change will be a top priority.
