As women, we are often penalized for relationship horrors our partners have experienced in the past. It is only natural to have some doubt or shadows cast upon us, but when is it too much? Men scorned can be worse than anything you have seen before, especially if they really loved the girl. In order to help your man recover from being hurt, you need to be patient and show him you are clearly different than the other women he has been with. These are some ways to help make yourself shine, without touching too much upon his insecurities and worries.
Always reply to his texts
One of the biggest insecurities both genders face is the thought of their partner cheating. If this has happened to your man, he will be extremely defensive and possibly demanding. Always try and answer his texts within a reasonable amount of time. If you can’t do it, let him know what happened. Eventually things will begin to ease up, but purposely ignoring him or holding out on him will only bring undesirable results. I went through this with my boyfriend after the fiasco he had with this ex-wife. It was odd for me to see a man acting like a crazed woman, but the more I heard, the more I understood. It eased up as time went by, and there aren’t nearly as many questioning texts thrown my way.
Reassure him you only want him
Just like women, men need the reassurance they are appreciated and loved. Remember to say “I love you” first or do something out of the blue to show him. When I first started dating my guy, I would periodically drop letters in his packed lunch to remind him I was thinking about him or send little texts throughout the day. As more time progresses, I leave him things in places he will never expect. It keeps things different and allows him to feel special once in a while.
Never use his insecurities against him
Arguments happen in relationships. It is just part of the process of getting to know one another and testing boundaries. When I argue with my boyfriend, I can get a little carried away. We both know the issues that gnaw at the other, and sometimes we use them against one another. I try to avoid using his ex-wife as ammunition, but sometimes it does slip out. It is apparent that those words cut deeper than anything else I could say, and I regret it almost immediately. Using his insecurities only makes things worse for him and makes me look like a complete jerk. I now refrain from using such insults and will bite my tongue before letting them escape from my mouth.
Dealing with an insecure man can be challenging, especially if it is severe. There are ways you can tackle it, but sometimes it may be too much. Try helping him adjust and give him the reassurance he needs. Meeting my boyfriend was one of the best things that has happened, and I would deal with it again just to get to the place we are at now.
