Whether diabetics or accident victims, many people have to deal with the frightening fact that they have to have a limb amputated. Whether you are a family member, friend or even a caregiver, oftentimes, you don’t know to help them cope. Here is some advice on the subject. I truly hope it helps someone.
Imagine, if you will, for just a minute. Someone you know is in a car crash. Not too bad, but bad enough. Their leg was pinned in the vehicle and severed a main artery. The person is alive, but not without complication. Because of the arterial damage, and the severity of it, doctors have no choice but to amputate the leg. Imagine how you would feel if you were delivered that news about a loved one. I imagine that you would be happy that the person was alive, but terrified at the thought of him or her losing their leg. All sorts of questions would come to your mind. Will he or she ever walk again? How are you going to feel the first time to see that leg gone? How long will it take to heal? Those are just a few.
Now, imagine, if you will, how you would feel if you were that person. The one who had to lose a leg. How would you feel? Sad? Angry? Helpless? Hopeless?
These emotions and probably many more. Not to mention the questions that would race around in your head!! Will I walk again? How long will it be before I can walk again? How will people look at me? What will people say? Who will help me? Why did it happen to me?
Unfortunately, amputations happen all of the time. Whether it be from a disease such as diabetes, an accident, or a number of other things, it happens. Many people have no idea how to help the person cope with the amputation. This often results in the person sinking into a pit of depression. They feel so helpless, and alone. They wonder if they will ever “get back on their feet”.
The answer to the last question is yes, they probably will “get back on their feet”, but it will take time. The more positive their attitude is, and the more support they receive, the better off they will do. Being the person trying to help can be a hard job. It requires a lot of patience.
My advice to the family, friends, and care-givers of amputees is to do your best to stay positive. In most cases, amputation is only a set-back. Don’t dwell on it. The amputee is still the same person, he or she is just missing a limb. Their mind still works as does the rest of their body. They often need to be reminded of that. ENCOURAGE them to do what they can for themselves, but not to over-do it. While they are still healing, they need to follow doctors orders.
Try to be PATIENT. The amputee is going to get angry and frustrated. They will probably have times when they experience a range of emotions in a short span of time. One minute, they may seem just fine, maybe even laughing and joking around, then, the next minute, they may be very angry, or even in tears. This is normal. In essence, they are grieving. They lost something very valuable to them, and they must go through the process of grief to get better. I’m sure they don’t mean to take their emotions out on anybody. You’ll probably have your moments too.
COMFORT them when they need it. If they need to cry, or just to talk, be there for them. I’m sure there will be times when the person remembers how life was before the amputation, and I’m sure that there will be tears.
Try not to treat them differently than before. If you show that person that life hasn’t changed, only slightly altered, they may cope better themselves. Do encourage them to follow doctor’s orders though. The fact is, the amputation is the altered part of their life, and the wound needs to heal. The sooner the wound heals, the sooner they may be able to get a prosthetic limb. In turn, the sooner they may feel more “normal”.
As for the people around who are not the amputee. Well, you’ll probably need some support too. I suggest talking to other people about it. Whether it be a close friend or relative, or maybe a support group. Talk to someone. Those people may be able to help you figure out different ways to cope or help the amputee cope. Don’t feel ashamed or as if you are to blame. You’re not.
If you don’t feel there is anyone to talk to, try writing. A journal is good. You can write out you feelings, and later, you can look back on your progress as well as the amputees. You could even suggest that the amputee keep a journal too. If you chose to, you could read each others journals. This could be beneficial, in my opinion.
To me, the most important thing to remember , besides the fact that it is nobody’s fault, is to remember that you are not alone. There are other people out there going through the same thing. You are not alone, and you are not to blame. You cannot change what is, you can only move forward. So, use the resources available to learn what you can. The more informed, the better.
In conclusion, amputations happen all of the time. With patience, encouragement, and understanding, not to mention information and resources, the victim as well as everyone else in their life can get through it and recover.
